are all terrific reasons.
You ever make it
in front of a log fire?
- Not with you.
- Well, it comes with the house.
It's part of the deal.
You go sit in those empty seats.
Now, I also do the notes
on "Newcomer's Column"
for The Weekly Chronicle.
You've got the copy
I left in the mailbox?
Yes, thank you.
Then you know my style.
It's mainly for ladies.
So you just go right ahead
and tell me about yourself.
Well, there's nothing much
to tell, really.
- What does your husband do?
- He's a lawyer.
- Lawyer.
- Me,
I'm a sort of hopeful, would-be,
semiprofessional photographer.
What do you think you'll miss
most about New York?
Noise.
Well, I don't know who the guy was,
but I'm assuming it was Mr Van Sant.
- Well, what time was it?
- Midmorning, way before noon.
Well, they sure start early
in Stepford, don't they?
You mean the guy just
walked up behind her,
and he put his hands
on her boobs?
How did he do it exactly?
Was it like this, or was it like...?
Walter.
- You're getting me all soapy.
- I'm just trying to get the facts straight.
- It's my legal mind.
- Your sexy mind.
Stepford has really done
things to you.
I'd like to christen
every room in the house
before I pay off the mortgage.
- Just finish the dishes first.
- Yeah.
- Tell me about your day.
- Well, I didn't witness
any soft-core porno like you,
so it's dull by comparison.
But, oh, I did meet some
of the other Stepford commuters.
- You want coffee?
- Sanka.
- Oh, I haven't gone shopping yet.
- Oh, regular will be all right.
They seem like
a bright bunch of guys.
I mean, they have
a nice thing going here.
They were telling me
about the Men's Association.
Apparently, it's the thing to join.
It's quite an honour
to be invited to join.
Why is it an honour?
Why is it an honour?
Well, because practically every
important guy in town's a member,
commuters and townies.
I mean, everybody,
the TV executives, the shrinks,
the scientists, the police chief,
the fire chief, the head of the hospital,
the guy who runs the phone company.
So did they ask you?
- Did they ask me?
- Yes, Walter, am I going crazy?
You keep repeating the questions.
Did they ask you?
Well, in a way, yes.
In a way you could refuse,
or in a way you had to accept?
Well, they said I had a good chance
of getting in, which I felt good about.
I have to admit, though, that there's
one rule that I don't much care for,
but apparently, it's gonna be changed
in, oh, six months or something.
Well, what rule is that?
Well, right now
it's strictly men only.
I give up on you.
Well, what's that supposed to mean?
Why don't you ever once
just tell me the truth?
You pretend we decide things together,
but it's always you, what you want.
You asked me if I wanted
to move out here,
and I found you'd already been
looking at a house.
You asked me if I liked this place,
and I found you'd already made
a down payment.
Now you're asking me about
the lousy Men's Association,
and it's quite obvious
you've already joined.
Why bother to ask me at all?
I'm gonna put the kids to bed.
Come on, Daddy's waiting.
Yes, you may. Come on, come on.
Ladies, we have specials today
on crenshaw melons,
English walnuts and avocados.
That's in aisle seven.
- How much is it?
- $53.13, please.
Walter, wait, wait.
Walter, have you made it out?
Yeah, I just made it out. Why?
- Oh, my God.
- I'm sorry...
- You can ring it separately.
- All right, OK.
OK, Mrs. Sunderson.
Hold it a second, Mrs. Sunderson.
OK, come on.
Watch it!
Hey, what was that?
- Oh, shit.
- Oh, my God, Carol.
I didn't see you.
I thought it was clear.
Oh, my God.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Oh, no, it's nothing, really.
It's just a surprise.
- I'm fine. It's just my head. I...
- It wasn't my fault.
I... I didn't mean nothing. It was just
one of those things, you know.
No, I'm fine.
It wasn't my fault. You know,
I didn't see the car coming.
It came right...