you will die,
because those who haven't
an ounce of kindness
don't deserve to live.
Anyhow, I'll have it my way!
You see how little kindness
is left in you...
Hey, soldier!
Bring here my tinder box, quick!
- What good'll that do you?
- Rush and get it!
Do you know the reason why
you've been brought here?
Yes, I do. Why do you ask?
Don't you know?
We are about to judge you.
I'm the Chief Justice of
the kingdom.
I demand to be tried by...
the prosecutor.
I'm the prosecutor too.
Some system...
I want at least a lawyer.
This will slay you. Your lawyer's
none other than your's truly.
Ours is a small kingdom,
there're not many smart people.
So the whole burden is upon me.
Do you also cut off the heads?
No, we have a real headsman.
He's very good.
You'll be introduced to him soon.
Shall we proceed...
As prosecutor
I ask for the death penalty.
As counsel for the defense, I can
find no extenuating circumstances.
As judge I hereby sentence you
to be cut...
How should I put it better?
Whichever way you put it,
it's a cutting statement.
You do understand, don't you?
You've been sentenced.
Oh yes, the law allows you
a last word.
But you can skip that.
We don't want any delays.
No, no, if it's my legal right,
then listen to my last word.
The king is a dirty, scheming
old man, a robber and a liar.
Objection!
I'm very wise and fair.
If that's all you've got to say,
then bon voyage!
Grant me one last wish.
Let me have one more smoke
before I die.
- Smoking makes your life shorter.
- Sometimes it makes it longer.
- Go ahead.
- I have no tobacco.
- Hurry up! The people are waiting.
- I've got no matches either.
lmagine that I wanted
to give him my daughter!
- Somebody give him a light!
- Yes, Your Majesty!
Catch, soldier!
Thanks, friend!
Young man, you don't have to
beat a tatoo with that flint.
I've been here for quite a while.
Only I'm invisible.
I'll take care of it.
Hey, guards!
Arrest both of them!
Arrest them all...
Where are you going?
Traitors!
Stop this row, Your Majesty.
Or I'll give your nose a new shape.
What's so funny, you idiots?
Now let's talk business.
Will you give me the Princess
for a bride, Your Majesty?
Well, since he wants it
that badly...
Say yes, quickly,
or your nose will grow
as big as a cucumber.
I say yes! I'll do it.
We say yes.
Hello there, my friend.
- Goodbye, soldier. I have to go.
- Where?
To find another princess
that I can fall in love with.
I'll see to it
that next time you get married.
Can we work a miracle
for our friend?
There cannot by any change
of beneficiary of wishes.
However, in this case...
Thank you, but this miracle I've
got to work out for myself.
And you...
Well, it's your choice.
That's about it.
Time for us to separate.
You've now got everything
that your heart desired.
You no longer need my services.
Yes... I guess I've got everything
I wanted.
And now I have to ask you
for the tinder box.
Sure.
Thanks for everything.
You don't have to thank me.
You would have been better off
if you'd listened.
Goodbye, or rather farewell.
I'll scratch his eyes out!
I'll make his life miserable!
I'll pour salt in his coffee
and sugar in his soup!
You're right, do that.
My dear son-in-law, why have
you put those rags on again?
Didn't I make you a General?
I have my reasons for that.
We have 10 minutes before
the wedding, let's talk business.
For the dowry...
I promised you... half my kingdom.
I'm not going back on it.
Enjoy!
I don't want any part of it.
I'm not going to live here.
Then you can have another state
when we conquer it.
I can get by without it.
What's the matter with you?
- Your Majesty...
- You can call me Papa.
Papa, will you pop out for a sec?
I need to talk with the Princess.
- All right, as you wish.
- That's a good boy, Papa.
What are you doing here?
You could wait till we're married.
There won't be any marriage.
I came to say goodbye.
I