for takeout.
- Where's my truck and my airplane?
It's down in the swamp.
I'll go get my jacket.
We'll get your jacket later.
You just take me to...
...the swamp.
Give me the light, I'll lead the way.
You're pretty lucky,
having a swamp next to your house.
It didn't always smell this way.
When we moved in, it was a freshwater
lake with fish and everything.
Then the Interstate Chemical
began dumping upstream...
...and weird things started to grow.
I haven't been here since the search
party a couple years ago.
Search party?
Yeah.
Some guy disappeared down here.
A lineman from the power company.
Said it was quicksand.
Quicksand, this part of the country?
No way.
That's what I said.
Vic!
Vic!
Vic, help me. Please help me!
Do you feel my truck in there?
Vic, come on, help me.
I'll buy you a new truck.
Not like that one. How about my
triplane? How you gonna replace that?
Help, please.
I'm being sucked down.
- Maybe it's best that way.
- What are you talking about?
You're not the ideal neighbour.
You sank my truck...
...you insulted my sauce
and you violated Ramona.
- You said it was just a joke.
- But she was in your bathtub.
No, she wasn't.
She was in the bed.
And that is where
you saw her mammae.
- Her mammal?
- Her honkers, Earl.
She dropped the towel.
Did she drop it,
or did you psychically will it to fall?
- "Will it to fall"?
- Did you will her towel to fall?
No.
Never. No.
Admit it, Earl.
They'll go easier on you if you do.
Will it to fall?
Well... No, I don't think so.
Come on, Earl.
- Well, maybe a little.
- Come on.
Yes! Yes!
- Okay, I admit it.
- Admit what?
Yes. I willed the towel to fall!
Grab on. Earl Keese, come on up.
See, all I wanted was a little honesty
in our relationship, buddy.
You'd want the
same thing, right, pal?
Vic.
Vic.
Don't kid around.
Come on up. Vic!
Vic, I'm sorry.
Vic, come back, Vic!
Vic, come back.
Forgive me, Vic.
Forgive me.
Oh, my God.
I must be seeing things.
So there was this Indian and...
Oh, God!
Jesus! Get out of here!
Get out!
Get out of my house!
You're certifiable!
You and that woman!
You're nuts!
You're a maniac! Get out!
God, does it always
shrivel up when you shower?
Great.
Now it's your turn
to annoy me, right?
I was looking for Baby. You haven't
seen him, have you? He kills chickens.
Well, I don't keep
chickens in the shower.
- This is pretty.
- Please don't touch them.
Put them back on the shelf.
Snippy.
Your left ball
in the corner pocket.
Sorry, Earl.
I started collecting them
when I was 9 years old.
Hey, you kids,
keep it down to a dull roar.
I'm not cleaning up
down there again, Earl.
What's happening, gang?
Hi, Vic.
Come on in and join the party.
I gotta go upstairs, be right back.
I gotta get a broom
to sweep up all this junk.
Get a little rough with you, did he?
Hey!
Earl. Hey, Earl.
- Go to hell. You're not getting back in.
- You locked them in?
They're a couple of cases.
They're fruitcakes, lunatics.
- Both of them. They're hazardous, Enid.
- Enid. You in there, honey?
Right here, Captain Vic.
You can't keep them prisoners, Earl.
I'm gonna call the locksmith.
They can let them out the side door.
Hello, Chic. It's Earl.
- Earl. Earl who?
- No jok es, will you?
I need the name of that locksmith.
I broke a key and I got
two lunatics locked in my basement.
What? What did you say?
- Blow it out your ass.
- Is somebody on this line?
- Just you and me, asshole.
- The bastard's on the phone.
- You called me, didn't you?
- Not you.
- Me.
- Get off the line, Vic.
- Who's Vic?
- He lives next door.
- Nobody lives next door.
- That's right.
- Christ.
- Earl, you been drinking?
- What the hell is going on?
- Never mind, forget it.
And don't ever call here again.
Oh, really, Earl. Grow up.
- Vic, stop!
- Please, you promised me. Please.
- Your leg. Just one leg.
- It's a trick.
You are pitiful, Earl.
How do you know it's a