guy says.
- I never say it.
- I don't blame you.
- Ramona...
...why don't you be man enough
to tell us since Earl isn't.
He tried to pork me.
Pork you? What?!
You know you did.
I swear, I never touched her.
Well, I wasn't born
with your hand in my bush.
Enid, help me.
Tell them I couldn't
do something like that.
- Let's leave that to the police.
- Vic, she's not my type.
Enid, you tell Earl he'll have
a chance to defend himself.
I think you can see
why we have to leave.
I know you meant well.
Didn't you?
We might have had
a wonderful relationship.
But then, as Arthur Bremer once said:
"How many things go right
in this crazy world?"
Ramona, let's go.
Come on, before he gets dangerous.
- I thought I'd be able to defend myself!
- Not so loud, Earl.
Afraid we'll disturb the neighbours?
These are the goddamn neighbours!
Calm yourself, Earl.
I'm not gonna take you to court.
That would make for bad blood.
We don't want any bad blood...
...especially since we'll be living
next door to you for a long, long time.
I swear to God, Enid,
we may have to move.
They're very strange people.
You know how after five minutes
when you meet someone...
...you know everything about them?
What they do, their last name.
We know nothing about them.
- So what?
- So why didn't you say something?
You were in the house the whole time
she was here.
Besides, you know how long it takes
to pork someone?
No, how long does it take, Earl?
Are you saying you believe her?
Enid, I'm the same man
you've known for 16 years.
I know.
What the hell's going on around here?
He comes waltzing in
and you say, "Hi, Vic."
- How did you know his name?
- He came over this afternoon.
I didn't have a chance to tell you.
- You could've told me in the car.
- You know we never talk in the car.
Today you could've made an exception.
That house next door is empty
for six months and you meet...
...the new occupants before I do,
and you don't say anything?
- Enid, am I being unreasonable?
- Pass the wine.
Did you tell me everybody
you met today?
I didn't meet anyone today.
I never meet anyone.
A new neighbour's
a bit different, isn't it?
A new neighbour whose unit
we can stare at.
- I wasn't staring at his unit.
- I saw you, Enid.
I don't care what other wives do,
only the one I'm married to.
I know when a woman's
checking out a man's unit.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah, Vic's wife, that Ramona.
She did it to me, practically
unzipped my fly with her eyes.
And you hated it, right?
How many stiff nips
did you check out at the office today?
I know you, Earl, your eyes
never sit still for a minute.
Why'd you give their dog our steak?
I saw you, behind my back.
I was afraid you wouldn't approve.
You were afraid right,
I can tell you that.
What could I do?
Vic asked me
to look after Baby for a while.
But steak? Jesus, why didn't you
stuff money into his mouth?
And 32 bucks for this load of crap?
It's his money.
Baby! Oh, my God! Baby!
Get that thing away from that thing!
What happened?
Baby was over by that thing
taking a leak.
Jesus Christ.
Come, Baby. Come.
Come here. Come here.
He's all right.
Sweetie, where's the truck?
Maybe that thing got our truck
like Earl got me.
Relax with that stuff. Our boy here
has been through enough.
We really had you going there.
Ramona's such an imp.
We were just kind of putting you on
at supper. Like a little joke.
A joke? You call accusing me
of porking Ramona a joke?
Oh, what's the matter with you, Earl?
Can't you take a joke?
Let's go, Ramona, come in the house.
It's Friday night. I'll buy you a drink.
Yeah, I can take a joke, Enid!
- Can you take a joke, Vic?
- Any joke you dish up.
- Oh, yeah?
- Well, try me.
- I sank your truck.
- What?
I didn't mean to. I lost control after
I moved the brick from under your tire.
You touched my brick?
I told you I had no brakes.
I borrowed your car for the takeout.
- But you didn't go