sit in this rat-hole for days on end. There`s a sunny day outside, and here it`s always dark. Your hot water, monsieur. Take it away! - My god, it`s stuffy in here! - Virginie! Yes, monsieur? Seven minutes to nine in the morning my wife told me: ``Bapertuis, I`ll go buy myself a pair of gloves.`` - Suede gloves. - I`m sorry, monsieur. ``I`ll go buy myself a pair of suede gloves.`` I won`t believe that to buy a pair of suede gloves... Virginie! How was my wife dressed? In her new dress with flounces. And she had on a hat made of Italian straw. The hat?! The one presented to her by the baroness? - Her god-aunt. - God-mother. - God-aunt! - God-mother. The hat that is worth 500 francs! And all that trouble to buy a pair of gloves? - Suede gloves. - Yes, suede gloves. - Strange. - Strange indeed. What is it you find so strange? I`m sure my wife is visiting with some friends. You will go to Madame Aloa immediately. Monsieur, I`m sure she is not there. Not there? Then you know... Me? I don`t know a thing. I said: ``I don`t think she...`` I can`t. It`s not walking distance. Very well. Take a fiacre. Oh, Anais, Anais! Here I am, Felix. Let`s go see the wedding gifts. Wait for me. The landlord will be here at 10 with the guests. Then everyone will go to the Mayor`s office. You need to stack the hay and finish painting the stables. And secondly... Too much tobacco is bad for your health. - You may die. - I won`t die. Monsieur Felix, between us... Why do you think your master decided to get married? He is in love. If you will need an extra housemaid, keep me in mind, will you? You don`t want to work for your master any more? Don`t even remind me of him. He`s a jealous grumbler. And his wife... It`s not good to discuss your masters... But she`s a canting hypocrite, a poseur, and oh so touchy. And soon as he`s gone, she disappears. She`s made of the same stuff that everyone else. Besides I`d love to be closer to my dear friend. ( song ) Glory is poison, but honor is worth it. From now on I know not peace. God, have mercy on me and send me an enemy. I want to have something to die for in battle. The sword will resolve all arguments. Hit and stab, and go mad! The more brave the musketeers... The more cheerful the kings. The more brave the musketeers, the more cheerful the kings. - What is this? - Don`t feel embarrassed. It`s only me, uncle Visinair. - Are the guests here yet? - Not yet. Thank you. You`re here for the wedding, young man? - Shall we dance the regodon. - Oh, regodon! He`s deaf as an old stump, an old stump. - Thank you. - You`re welcome. I thought the meeting was set at the Mayor`s office, but in fact it is here. - The Mayor passed away. - Yes. - Died of the flue. - Oh, no, no! I came by a fiacre. Take this to the newlywed`s room. My wedding present. My dearest nephew! Fadinard! Who is that? - Your uncle. - My uncle? You`re free to go. Now I have better company. - Uncle! - My dearest nephew! - Congratulations. - What with? All my wife`s relatives love kissing around. - I left Cherantonaux at 8 a.m... - Where is the bride? Following us. As I said, I left Cherantonaux at 8... - I brought a present. - Please sit down. I was going through a forest... and I had to make a stop. Indeed, such elevated feelings do you credit. What feelings? - I burnt my hands with nettle. - I`m happy for you. Thank you. I go back and I don`t see my horse. I search about - the horse is gone. You lost your horse? I`m talking to a deaf person here. Don`t interfere. I would put it this way: Only good husbands have good wives. So the horse was gone. I come closer, and what do I see? My horse is chewing on a wisp of straw decorated with poppies. Then a woman yells: ``My hat!`` The wisp of straw appeared to be a hat. She hung it on a branch when she was chatting with an officer. - A very
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