director of the Moscow Exemplary
Veterinarian Institute... - How do you do.
This way, please.
You may begin, Doctor.
I am at a loss. By God,
it's unbelievable.
Start reading.
On December the 23rd Prof. Preobrazhensky
commenced the first operation of its kind...
...to be performed in Europe.
Under chloroformic anaesthesia the dog's
testicles and pituitary gland were removed...
..and replaced by implanted human testes
and pituitary taken from a dead male.
Purpose of the operation: conduct
an experiment to find out...
...about the functional viability
of the pituitary in a host organism
and its role in rejuvenation.
Operation performed by:
Prof. P.P. Preobrazhensky,
Assisted by: Dr. I.A. Bormenthal.
- Very interesting. And the outcome?
- Yes, what are the results?
The results are amazing.
There has been malting of hair on the
forehead and along the sides of the torso.
The bark instead of 'aow-aow' now
sounds more like a grown reminiscent
of the sounds "ah" and "uh".
But the most important point is the
lengthening of the extremities and
the replacement of claws with nails.
This way. Doctor.
Gentlemen.
Very strange.
These symptoms appeared on the fourth
day following the operation.
- The nails grow at an incredible pace.
- I've been watching it for two days now.
Congratulations, colleague. Wells'
characters are nothing compared to you.
- Well, I thought it was all rubbish. - What
use talking about Wells and minor matters.
Colleague, what you did was unheard of.
It's a revolution in medicine. A triumph!
I am very glad. But still, colleagues:
what is the diagnosis?
- Such cases are not described
in literature. - I am at a loss.
No one has observed anything
like that. Let us keep watching.
Give him some herring.
A change in taste occurred yesterday.
People are saying Martians
live here now.
To hell with Maritans. Look,
here it is in black and white
in the paper of January the 7th:
..mours about Martians in Obukhov alley
are spread by traders in Sukharevka...
...they will be severely punished.
Is that clear?
- So what the hell are you doing here?
God knows.
When I get my manuscript published
I'll stress, that I couldn't have
managed without you.
That doesn't matter.
All the same, thank you.
Catch him!
Professor, he stood up!
- Just notice how quickly he is
gaining weight. - 25 kilos.
- He is eating twice the amount he
ate before. - Switch the phonograph on.
That's phenomenal.
- Perhaps, he is hungry?
- Bring something, please.
Professor, we are witnessing
a miracle.
Do you know what "abyrvalg" is?
It's... GLAVRYBA, fishery, colleague,
spelled in reverse order.
It's GLAVRYBA.
Doctor, ammonium chloride.
Professor, his tail fell off.
Humanity is likely to remember
for a long time this inheritance...
..left by the time of
military communism.
Let these glands living a life of their
own be turned into special machines...
...special factories for rejuvenating
and improving living humans!
Me too, I read Brokgauz and Efron.
I read two volumes.
You read and read, the words
are not difficult.
Mechislav, Boguslav and I'll be damned
if I can remember who is who.
Once you close the book,
nothing is left!
I do remember one name - Mandrian.
What sort of Mandrian?
There is no Mandrian in the book.
There on the left page were two Bronetskis.
One was mister Adrian, the other Marian.
And I have Mandrian.
And I have Mandrian.
No, no, no. There'll be
no reception today. I can't.
God knows what, 82 phone calls.
Everybody's crazy!
Ivan Arnoldovitch, please.
Excuse me, I am a newspaper reporter.
Thank you.
- Excuse me, Doctor... - I am sorry,
but there'll be no reception today.
- Professor... - Professor will inform
every one of the time of the appointment.
I am sorry, it absolutely impossible to do
anything today, I am sorry, very sorry.
Kerosene stove. American recognition.
Moscow State Clothing Stores.
Kerosene stove.
Pub. A couple