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You should rub his nose in the owl,
so that he learns not to spoil things.
Why did you ruin the owl, you little
bastard? Was the owl doing you any harm?
Was it, now? Why did you smash
the portrait of Professor Mechnikov?
He needs at least one good hiding,
Philip Philipovich,
or he'll become completely spoiled.
Just look what he's done to your
galoshes, Philip Philipovich.
Nobody must be beaten. Never.
Remember that once and for all.
Animals and humans can only
be dealt with by persuasion.
Have you given him his meat today?
Lord, he's eaten everything there's in the
house. I'm surprised he doesn't burst.
Let him eat. It's good for him.
- Did Doctor Bormenthal call?
No murders today? - No.
Send the owl to the taxidermist today.
Now then, here's eight roubles,
...and another sixteen kopecks
for the carfare.
Go over to Myur's and
buy a good collar.
What harm did professor Mechnikov
do to you? Little hoodlum.
Good boy.
There's a good dog.
Where are you going? Come to me.
Where are you going? Come to me.
Come, come.
A collar's just like a briefcase.
I have won the main dog's prize.
A knife wound in the heart? Excellent.
Bring it round at once, at once.
Zina! Tell Darya Petrovna to answer
telephone calls and take notes.
No visitors.
Get dressed, I need you here.
The dead man - Klim Grigorievich
CHUGUNKIN, 25 years old, single,
not a party member, sympathiser.
Brought before court three times
and found not guilty the first time
for lack of evidence...
...the second time he was saved by his
social origins, the third time given a
suspended sentence of 15 years hard labour.
Thefts. Profession: Plays
the balalaika in pubs.
Enlarged liver (alcohol).
Cause of death: struck in the heart
with a knife in a pub.
Quiet, come, come with me.
Come on, Sharik? Sharik.
Come here, don't be afraid.
Zina, take off the collar,
only don't excite him.
Doctor, the ether, quick.
May I leave now, Philip Philipovich?
You may.
Well, doctor. All in all we have
nine and a half minutes.
God help us. The knife.
Give me the glands.
Put in the stitches, doctor,
sew the skin this instant.
No one in Europe could equal
you, by God, Professor.
Cut it out. Turn him over.
- The pulse is dropping.
- Injection.
- Into the heart?
- Why ask?
He would have been dead five times
on your hands. Make the injection.
- He is alive, but only just.
- Stop musing: alive, not alive.
Give me the pituitary.
10 minutes.
He is dead of course?
- A thread of a pulse.
- Stitch him up.
Zina, I want clean
clothes and a bath.
I'll be damned! Just look at him,
he is not dead yet.
All the same he'll die.
I feel sorry for the dog, he was
good and affectionate although
he had his little ways.
And so, Timofeeva, you want
to christen your twins?
I want to name them.
That's right, I propose
the following names:
Barricade, Bebelina, Festelina...
No, no, no. No.
Let's give them simple names:
Clara and Rose.
In honour of Clara Zetkin
and Rose Luxembourg, comrades.
The red thunderstorms are past
We have won a victory.
Mop up the tears shed in battle
With your sleeve.
Meet my colleagues.
Vasily Vasilievitch Bundarev,
Professor specializing in skin diseases.
Nikolai Nikolaevitch Persikov,
...director of the Moscow Exemplary
Veterinarian Institute... - How do you do.
This way, please.
You may begin, Doctor.
I am at a loss. By God,
it's unbelievable.
Start reading.
On December the 23rd Prof. Preobrazhensky
commenced the first operation of its kind...
...to be performed in Europe.
Under chloroformic anaesthesia the dog's
testicles and pituitary gland were removed...
..and replaced by implanted human testes
and pituitary taken from a dead male.
Purpose of the operation: conduct
an experiment to find out...
...about the functional viability
of the pituitary in a host organism
and its role in rejuvenation.
Operation performed by:
Prof. P.P. Preobrazhensky,

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- II

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