and of equally cosmic stupidity, about how everything should be divided up! - And at the same time you eat toothpaste. - That was the day before yesterday. And mind you, you've got to keep quiet and listen... ...keep quiet and listen, to what you are told! You've got to learn and try to become... ...at least a marginally acceptable member of society. By the way, who was the scoundrel who lent you that book? Everybody is a scoundrel to you. Well, Shvonder gave it to me. O what? It was so I could get educated. I can see which way your education is going after reading Kautsky. Zina! - Zina! - Zina! There in the reception room... Is it in the reception room? - It is. Green, the color of vitriol. - Yes. There is a green book. Now he is going to burn it. It is public property, it's from the library! It's called Correspondence between, her, Engels and that other devil what's his name... Throw it into the stove! Upon my word, I'd hang that Shvonder from the first tree. This poisonous fellow sits in this house like a boil. To say nothing of his idiotic ravings in the newspapers... Oh Doctor, for Goodness sake, go to the circus with him tonight. Only do check the program and make sure there are no cats. I don't know how they let such filthy beasts into the circus at all. Well, never mind what filthy beasts they let into the circus. What's on tonight? Elephants and the Ultimate in Human Dexterity. What do you say to the elephants, my dear Sharikov? I am not a fool. Cats are a special case. Elephants are useful animals. Excellent. Go and watch them. I beg you, Ivan Arnoldovitch, not to offer Sharikov beer to drink. Gentlemen! I have the honor of introducing to you a famous fortune-teller... ...mademoiselle Jeanna from Paris and icily! Mademoiselle can tell you about your past, present and... ...future! As well as your family secrets. Make an enigmatic face, you idiot. Mademoiselle Jeanna! You shouldn't think, though, that it all has something to do with witchcraft or miracle. Nothing of the kind! There are no miracles as we all know. And Professor Preobrazhensky has once again proved it. Everything is determined by the forces of nature... ...and the permission of the local committee and the educational committee. This is vitallopatia! It is based on the teachings of Indian yogis... ...repressed by British colonialism. I welcome you questions, comrades. What is the main event of my life? Ahead. The main event in your life is still ahead of you. By God I'll do it. Damn. The difficult years of fighting for the liberty of this country are gone. The ones that follow them are also difficult. Bastard. Bormenthal! Bormenthal! Kindly address me by my name and patronymic. Then call me by my name and patronymic, too. No, I won't have you addressed by such a name in my flat. If you like, Doctor Bormenthal and I will call you Monsieur Sharikov. I'm not a 'monsieur'- all the 'monsieurs' are in Paris. I see Shvonder's been at work on you. All right, I'll place an advertisement in the papers today... ...and, believe me, I'll find you a room. I am no fool to move away from here. - What?! - Don't be so impertinent, Monsieur Sharikov! There. I'm now a member of this residential associate don and the tenant in charge of flat... ...Number Two, Preobrazhensky, has got to give me thirty-seven square feet of space. Be so kind. I'll shoot that Shvonder one of these days. - Philip Philipovich... - To hell with caution. Mind you, If you commit one more piece of impudence... ...I shall deprive you of your dinner - in fact, of all food in this house. Thirty-seven square feet may be all very well, but there's nothing on that stinking little bit of paper... ...which says that I have to feed you! I can't do without food. Where would I eat? Then behave yourself! Eh, talk Moscow, speak Russia! Come on, boys, come on! What's wrong? Ah, fuck
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