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and of equally cosmic stupidity, about
how everything should be divided up!
- And at the same time you eat toothpaste.
- That was the day before yesterday.
And mind you, you've got
to keep quiet and listen...
...keep quiet and listen,
to what you are told! You've got
to learn and try to become...
...at least a marginally
acceptable member of society.
By the way, who was the scoundrel
who lent you that book?
Everybody is a scoundrel to you.
Well, Shvonder gave it to me. O what?
It was so I could get educated.
I can see which way your education
is going after reading Kautsky. Zina!
- Zina!
- Zina!
There in the reception room...
Is it in the reception room?
- It is. Green, the color of vitriol.
- Yes. There is a green book.
Now he is going to burn it. It is public
property, it's from the library!
It's called Correspondence between, her,
Engels and that other devil what's
his name... Throw it into the stove!
Upon my word, I'd hang that
Shvonder from the first tree.
This poisonous fellow sits
in this house like a boil.
To say nothing of his idiotic
ravings in the newspapers...
Oh Doctor, for Goodness sake,
go to the circus with him tonight.
Only do check the program and
make sure there are no cats.
I don't know how they let such
filthy beasts into the circus at all.
Well, never mind what filthy beasts they
let into the circus. What's on tonight?
Elephants and the Ultimate
in Human Dexterity.
What do you say to the elephants,
my dear Sharikov?
I am not a fool.
Cats are a special case.
Elephants are useful animals.
Excellent. Go and watch them.
I beg you, Ivan Arnoldovitch, not
to offer Sharikov beer to drink.
I have the honor of introducing
to you a famous fortune-teller...
...mademoiselle Jeanna
from Paris and icily!
Mademoiselle can tell you
about your past, present and...
As well as your family secrets.
Make an enigmatic face, you idiot.
Mademoiselle Jeanna!
You shouldn't think, though,
that it all has something to do
with witchcraft or miracle.
Nothing of the kind! There are
no miracles as we all know.
And Professor Preobrazhensky
has once again proved it.
Everything is determined
by the forces of nature...
...and the permission of the local
committee and the educational committee.
This is vitallopatia!
It is based on the teachings
of Indian yogis...
...repressed by British colonialism.
I welcome you questions, comrades.
What is the main event of my life?
The main event in your life
is still ahead of you.
By God I'll do it.
The difficult years of fighting
for the liberty of this
country are gone.
The ones that follow them
are also difficult.
Kindly address me by
my name and patronymic.
Then call me by my name
and patronymic, too.
No, I won't have you addressed
by such a name in my flat.
If you like, Doctor Bormenthal
and I will call you Monsieur Sharikov.
I'm not a 'monsieur'- all the
'monsieurs' are in Paris.
I see Shvonder's been at work on you.
All right, I'll place an advertisement
in the papers today...
...and, believe me,
I'll find you a room.
I am no fool to move away from here.
- What?! - Don't be so impertinent,
Monsieur Sharikov!
There. I'm now a member of this
residential associate don
and the tenant in charge of flat...
...Number Two, Preobrazhensky, has got to
give me thirty-seven square feet of space.
Be so kind.
I'll shoot that Shvonder
one of these days.
- Philip Philipovich...
- To hell with caution.
Mind you, If you commit
one more piece of impudence...
...I shall deprive you of your dinner -
in fact, of all food in this house.
Thirty-seven square feet may be
all very well, but there's nothing
on that stinking little bit of paper...
...which says that I have to feed you!
I can't do without food.
Where would I eat?
Then behave yourself!
Eh, talk Moscow, speak Russia!
Come on, boys, come on!
What's wrong?
Ah, fuck
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