serves him right.
A clip over the ear's what he needs!
- No, not that, Fyodor.
- I am sorry for you, Philip Philipovich.
The spirit of the emperor,
do tell us...
...will the Bolsheviks remain
in power for a long time?
Quiet, gentlemen, that's interesting.
No, no, no! You must tuck
in your napkin.
Why the hell should I.
I shan't allow you to eat
until you tuck on your napkin.
- Zina, take the plate away from Sharikov.
- Hey, how do you mean take away?
And use a fork please.
Thank you, Doctor. I sick and
tired of reprimanding him.
- I'll have some vodka.
- Don't you think you've had enough?
- Do you grudge it?
- You, Sharikov, are talking nonsense.
The most revolting thing is that you talk
with such confidence and assuredness.
I don't grudge you the vodka of course,
all the more so since it's not mine
but belongs to Philip Philipovich.
It's simply that it's bad for you.
That's number one. And number two: You
can't behave yourself even without vodka.
It isn't done that way.
You should first offer it to Philip
Philipovich, then to me,
then pour yourself a glass.
You always act just as
if you were on parade here.
Put your napkin here, place your tie
there and "excuse me" and "please-merci".
Why can't you behave naturally?
You torment yourselves as though
you were still under the tsar.
What do you mean
by "natural" may I ask?
I wish you all...
- The same to you.
- An old habit!
There's nothing we can do
about it - Klim Chugunkin.
- Do you think so, Philip Philipovich?
- No need to think, it is clear as it is.
I'll have some more vodka.
Well now, what are you and
I going to do this evening?
Let's go to the circus.
I like it best of all.
If I were you I'd go
to the theatre at least once.
I won't go to the theatre.
Belching at table spoils
other people's appetites.
Incidentally, why don't
you like the theatre?
Hell, it's just crap... talk, talk.
Pure counterrevolution.
- You should do some reading, otherwise you
know... - Sure, I am reading already...
Zina, take the vodka away, baby.
What have you been reading?
Robinson Crusoe?
That what do you call it... correspondence
between Engels and... hell,
...What's the blighter's name?
Oh - Kautsky.
I'd be interested to know what comment
you can make on what you've read?
- I don't agree.
- With whom - Engels or Kautsky?
- With either of 'em.
- That is most remarkable, by God.
Well, what would you suggest
for your part?
Why suggest? They just keep writing...
Some congress and some Germans...
Makes my head reel! Take everything
and divide it equally.
Just as I thought,
just what I expected.
- Do you know how it is to be done?
- How to do it? That's plain enough.
What do you think? Here's one guy who
spreads himself out in seven rooms
and has forty pairs of pants,
...and there's another who hangs around
garbage cans looking for something to eat.
I suppose that remark about
the seven rooms is a hint at me?
All right, I've nothing against a fair
division. How many patients did you
turn away yesterday, Doctor?
- Thirty-nine.
- H'm... three hundred and ninety roubles.
Your share is a hundred and thirty
roubles. Kindly hand it over.
Hey, wait a minute! What's that for?
- I mean for the cat and the tap!
- Philip Philipovich.
For the intolerable chaos you created
yesterday and because of which
I had to cancel my reception!
A man goes leaping about the house
like a savage ripping off taps!
Who killed Madame Polasukher's cat?
Who?
The day before yesterday you, Sharikov,
bit a lady on the stairs.
But she slapped me across the muzzle!
My muzzle isn't public property!
Because you had pinched her bosom!
You stand...
You stand on the lowest rung of evolution.
You are still in the formative stage...
...You are intellectually weak as yet.
All your actions are purely animal.
Yet you allow yourself in the presence
of two university-educated men...
...to offer advice on a cosmic scale...
...