most remarkable, by God.
Well, what would you suggest
for your part?
Why suggest? They just keep writing...
ome congress and some Germans...
Makes my head reel! Take everything
and divide it equally.
Just as l thought,
just what l expected.
- Do you know how it is to be done?
- How to do it? That's plain enough.
What do you think? Here's one guy who
spreads himself out in seven rooms
and has forty pairs of pants,
...and there's another who hangs around
garbage cans looking for something to eat.
l suppose that remark about
the seven rooms is a hint at me?
All right, l've nothing against a fair
division. How many patients did you
turn away yesterday, Doctor?
- Thirty-nine.
- H'm... three hundred and ninety roubles.
Your share is a hundred and thirty
roubles. Kindly hand it over.
Hey, wait a minute! What's that for?
- l mean for the cat and the tap!
- Philip Philipovich.
For the intolerable chaos you created
yesterday and because of which
l had to cancel my reception!
A man goes leaping about the house
like a savage ripping off taps!
Who killed Madame Polasukher's cat?
Who?
The day before yesterday you, harikov,
bit a lady on the stairs.
But she slapped me across the muzzle!
My muzzle isn't public property!
Because you had pinched her bosom!
You stand...
You stand on the lowest rung of evolution.
You are still in the formative stage...
...You are intellectually weak as yet.
All your actions are purely animal.
Yet you allow yourself in the presence
of two university-educated men...
...to offer advice on a cosmic scale...
...and of equally cosmic stupidity, about
how everything should be divided up!
- And at the same time you eat toothpaste.
- That was the day before yesterday.
And mind you, you've got
to keep quiet and listen...
...keep quiet and listen,
to what you are told! You've got
to learn and try to become...
...at least a marginally
acceptable member of society.
By the way, who was the scoundrel
who lent you that book?
Everybody is a scoundrel to you.
Well, hvonder gave it to me. o what?
lt was so l could get educated.
l can see which way your education
is going after reading Kautsky. Zina!
- Zina!
- Zina!
There in the reception room...
ls it in the reception room?
- lt is. Green, the colour of vitriol.
- Yes. There is a green book.
Now he is going to burn it. lt is public
property, it's from the library!
lt's called Correspondence between, er,
Engels and that other devil what's
his name... Throw it into the stove!
Upon my word, l'd hang that
hvonder from the first tree.
This poisonous fellow sits
in this house like a boil.
To say nothing of his idiotic
ravings in the newspapers...
Oh Doctor, for Goodness sake,
go to the circus with him tonight.
Only do check the program and
make sure there are no cats.
l don't know how they let such
filthy beasts into the circus at all.
Well, never mind what filthy beasts they
let into the circus. What's on tonight?
Elephants and the Ultimate
in Human Dexterity.
What do you say to the elephants,
my dear harikov?
l am not a fool.
Cats are a special case.
Elephants are useful animals.
Excellent. Go and watch them.
l beg you, lvan Arnoldovich, not
to offer harikov beer to drink.
Gentlemen!
l have the honour of introducing
to you a famous fortune-teller...
...mademoiselle Jeanna
from Paris and icily!
Mademoiselle can tell you
about your past, present and...
...future!
As well as your family secrets.
Make an enigmatic face, you idiot.
Mademoiselle Jeanna!
You shouldn't think, though,
that it all has something to do
with witchcraft or miracle.
Nothing of the kind! There are
no miracles as we all know.
And Professor Preobrazhensky
has once again proved it.
Everything is determined
by the forces of nature...
...and the permission of the local
committee and the educational committee.
This is vitallopatia!
lt is based on the teachings
of lndian yogis...
...repressed by