here, you shouldn't overdo it, you know. l don't. Only as a sort of experiment, dear Professor. Well, and what were the results? Oh! wear to God, l haven't known anything like that for 25 years. The last time was in 1899 in Paris on the Rue de la Paix. Excellent. Everything is in great shape. l admit, l never expected such results. treams of blood and song galore... And to the one who's most enchanting... One, two, three. - You need not come for another check-up for two weeks. - Thank you. The age is not filled in correctly. lt is probably between 54 and 55. Heartbeat's muffled. - Do come in. - Good afternoon, Professor. - How old are you, madam? - Oh, Professor... Professor, l swear that if you knew the agony l've been going through..! - Your age, madam? - Upon my honour... Well, l am 45. Madam, there are people waiting. Please don't waste my time. You're not my only patient, you know. l will tell you and you only as a luminary of science. - How old are you, madam? - That is just awful. l am 51. Take off your knickers. This way. lt is such agony, Professor. lt is so appalling. l am at a loss what to do. Help me, Professor. Not too moral a flat. But what comfort. What the hell can he want me for? Will he let me live here? What an eccentric. He could get a pedigreed dog at the drop of a hat. And what if l am good-looking? l must be lucky. But that owl is trash. Get dressed. l swear, Professor, this boy Morits... He is my only passion. He cheats at cards. He is notorious throughout Moscow. He can't resist a single disgusting little salesgirl. But he is so devilishly young! l will implant the ovaries of a monkey into your body, madam. What? Not a monkey, surely, Professor? Yes. When is the operation? ...from eville to Granada... in the still of the night... Monday. You will go into the clinic in the morning, my assistant will prepare you. No, l don't want to go into the hospital. Can't you do it here, Professor? lmpossible. You see, l operate at home only in extreme cases. lt will be too expensive. 500 roubles. - That is all right. - ettled. Good bye, Professor. ls there anyone here besides the tenants? - No. - Where is the Professor? Over there. - Have you come to see me? - Don't worry, comrade. We've come to see you, Professor, on a matter of business. You, my good sirs, are most unwise to be going around without galoshes. ln the first place you'll catch cold. ln the second you've left dirty footprints all over my carpets and all my carpets are Persian. - ln the first place, we are not your good sirs. - ln the first place, are you a man or a woman? - What difference does it make, comrade? - l am a woman. ln that case you may keep your cap on. As for you, dear sir, be so kind and take yours off. Don't "dear sir" me. - We've come to see you Professor on a matter of business. - Who are we? We are the new House Management Committee of this block. l am hvonder, her name is Viazemskaya. Comrade Pestrukhin and comrade Zharovkin. - lt was you they settled into Fyodor Pavlovich ablin's flat? - Us. Ah, God, this house is finished. What's going to happen to the steam heating? - Are you making fun of us, Professor? - Far from it... o, what brings you here? Be brief, it's my dinner time. We've come to see you Professor for the following reason. We, the House Committee, have come to see you after a general meeting of the tenants... ...of this block, at which the question of the reallocation of living space stood... Who stood on whom? Be so good as to express yourself more clearly. The question of the reallocation of living space stood on the agenda. Do you realize, that under the regulation... ...of April twelfth 1924... ...my flat is exempt from any and every reallocation and resettlement? We know that. But when the general meeting after due consideration of the question... ...came to the conclusion that,
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