of "let's laugh at the hippy".
- Pauline...
- Shut up, Paul.
I've seen a lot of bullshit -
angel dust, switchblades,
sexually perverse photography exhibits
involving tennis rackets -
but this suicide thing...
guess that's more on Pauline's wavelength.
We're just going to write off today
and on Friday she can hold
her little love-in or whatever.
Whatever.
Attention!
May I have your attention, please?
This school has been
torn apart by tragedy.
I'm here today to fuse it back again
through togetherness.
I want everyone to clasp hands.
We need to connect this cafeteria
into one mighty circuit!
- (Woman) Excuse me.
- Here comes the TV crew!
Lock your paws!
- We're ready when you are.
- Hi, there.
Come on. Let's go. Here.
This will be on TV.
Let's show them how you feel!
Looks like Miss Phlegm's
on another one of her crusades.
With usual success, of course.
Come on, get up!
Hi, what's your name?
I'm Heather Duke.
Is this as good for you as it is for me?
Those fish sticks can wait. Let's go.
Come on, kids!
The whole world is watching!
Show them that you care!
Greetings and salutations.
I'll need a VHS copy of this by Monday
for my Princeton application.
(Pauline) You can beat this,
don't let suicide get you down.
(Veronica) That thing this afternoon,
I'm so angry, it was chaos, fucking chaos.
What are you talking about?
I mean, today was great.
Chaos was great.
Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling.
Face it, our way is the way.
We scare people into not being assholes.
Our way is not our way.
Oh, yeah? Tell that to the judge, all right?
Tell it to Kurt Kelly.
I'm telling it to you.
God, you can be so immature.
Oh! You kids are making
too much damn noise.
We beat the bitches.
Beautiful. The beaver's home.
Judge told them to slurp shit and die.
I put a Norwegian in the boiler room.
(Laughs sinisterly) Masterful.
And then when that blew,
it set off a pack of thermals I stuck upstairs.
Some days it's great to be alive.
Stick it to those goddamn...
Do you like your father?
Never given the matter much thought.
Liked my mother.
They said her death was an accident
but she knew what she was doing.
She walked into the building two minutes
before my dad blew the place up.
She waved at me and then...
boom.
(DJ) 'Dudes, if I get one more request
for that Big Fun song,
'I'm gonna commit suicide.'
Playing our song.
'Here it is, Teenage Suicide Don't Do It.'
# Teenage suicide
# Don't do it
# Teenage suicide
# She blew it
# Teenage suicide
# Don't do it... #
That's it. We're breaking up.
What? You can't bring them back,
you must know that.
I'm not trying to bring anybody back
except maybe myself.
No!
To think once
I actually thought you were cool.
If you can't deal with me now
then just stay home and shoot your TV,
blow up a couple toasters or something.
Just don't come to school
and don't mess with me.
You'll be back.
Me and Martha Dumptruck?
Where did you get this?
Oh, I just had the nicest little chat
with Ms Dumptruck.
Got along famously.
It's scary how everybody's got
a little story to tell.
Want to see the canoeing shots?
What is this? Blackmail?
I'll give you a week's lunch money.
I don't want your money.
I want your strength.
Westerburg does not need
mushy togetherness,
it needs a strong leader.
Heather Chandler was that leader but...
But she couldn't handle it.
I think you can.
Moby Dick is dunked.
The white whale drank some bad plankton
and splashed through a coffee table
and now it's your turn to take the helm.
What about the photographs?
Oh, don't worry.
I'll ask you to do me a favour
and it'll be one you'll enjoy.
You'll get the negatives back then.
But in the meantime, strength.
Here's a little gift...
from Heather to Heather.
- Guess who.
- Heather?
'Hello? '
Hello, Betty? This is Veronica.
I don't believe it, I'm winning!
Don't you start getting cocky on me, girl.
I really missed you.
I