like, cough up
a phlegm globber in it or something.
- No?
- Nothing.
Oh, well. Milk and orange juice
will do quite nicely.
You're chicken.
You're not funny.
I'm sorry.
- Uh, Veronica?
- What?
Uh, never mind. I'll, er, carry the cup.
(Veronica) Morning, Heather.
Veronica... and Jesse James.
Quelle surprise.
Hear about Veronica's
affection for regurgitation?
Last night we both
said things we didn't mean.
Did we?
How did you get in?
Um... Veronica knew
you'd have a hangover
so, uh, I whipped this up for you.
It's a family recipe.
What, you put a phlegm globber in it?
I'm not going to drink that piss.
I knew this stuff'd be too intense for her.
Intense.
Grow up.
You think I'll drink it
just because you call me chicken?
Just give me the cup, jerk.
Corn nuts.
Oh, my God.
I can't believe it.
I just killed my best friend.
And your worst enemy.
Same difference.
Ohh...
What are we going to tell the cops?
"Fuck it if she can't take a joke, Sarge."
Cops.
I can't believe this is my life.
Oh, my God.
I'm going to have to send
my SAT scores
to San Quentin instead of Stanford.
All right, just a little freaked, here.
At least you got what you wanted.
Got what I wanted?
It's one thing to want
somebody out of your life,
it's another thing to serve them
a wake-up cup full of liquid drainer.
All right, we did a murder
and that's a crime,
but if this were like
a suicide thing, you know?
Like a suicide thing?
Yeah, yeah.
You can do Heather's handwriting
as well as your own, right?
Right?
- Yeah.
- All right.
You might think what I've done is shocking?
Yeah.
Um...
to me, though,
suicide is the natural answer
to the myriad of problems
life has given me.
That's good but Heather
would never use the word myriad.
This is the last thing she'll ever write,
she'll want to use
as many 50-cent words as possible.
She missed myriad
on the vocab test two weeks ago.
That only proves my point more.
The word is a badge
for her failures at school.
Oh. OK, you're probably right.
People think just because
you're beautiful and popular,
life is easy and fun.
- Yeah.
- Uh...
no one understood I had feelings too.
I die knowing no one knew the real me.
That's good.
Have you done this before?
Any other principal
would take the same position -
keep things business as usual.
Heather Chandler's
not your everyday suicide.
- She was very popular.
- If I let these kids out before lunch,
the switchboard would light up
like a Christmas tree.
I was impressed that she made proper use
of the word myriad in her suicide note.
I find it profoundly disturbing
that we're told of
the tragic destruction of youth
and all we can think to talk about
is adequate mourning times
and misused vocabulary words.
Oh, Christ!
We must revel in this revealing moment.
Look, I suggest that
we get everybody together,
both students and teachers, in the cafeteria
and just talk and feel...
together.
Thank you, Ms Fleming.
You call me when the shuttle lands.
Now, is this Heather the cheerleader?
(Man) That would be Heather McNamara.
Damn. I'd be willing to go half a day
for a cheerleader.
God, it's unfair. It's just so unfair.
We should get off a whole week,
not just an hour.
Write the school board.
Watch it, you might be digesting food.
- Yeah, where is your urge to purge?
- Fuck it.
Look...
Heather left behind one of her Swatches.
She'd want you to have it, Veronica.
She always said
you couldn't accessorise for shit.
Sorry to hear about your friend.
I thought she was your usual airhead bitch.
Guess I was wrong.
We all were.
(Heather) What a waste.
Oh, the humanity.
Veronica?
Veronica, what are you doing?
I'm just so thrilled...
to finally have an example
of the profound sensitivity of
which a human animal is capable.
That example is Heather Chandler.
I have her note.
(AIl) Whoo!
I'm gonna pass this note around the class
so you can all feel
its pathetic beauty for