buggering the linebacker.
What a waste.
Oh, the humanity.
So we killed them, didn't we?
Yeah. Of course.
Echt Luger bullets. I'm such an idiot.
Look, you believed it
because you wanted to believe it.
Your true feelings
were too gross and icky for you to face.
I did not want them dead.
- You did too.
- I did not.
Did too.
- I did not.
- Did too.
- Did not.
- Did too.
- Did not! Did not!
- Did too!
Shut up! I did not want them dead.
- Come on, you did. You're just...
- # Mary had a little lamb... #
(Veronica screeching) I did not!
Young love!
School's cancelled today
because Kurt and Ram killed themselves
in a repressed homosexual suicide pact!
No way.
God!
The football season is over, Veronica.
Kurt and Ram
had nothing to offer the school
but date rapes and AIDS jokes.
(Sighs) Sure.
Can we make an ice run
before the funeral?
If there's any way
you can hear me, Kurt buddy...
I don't care that
you really were some... pansy.
You're my own flesh and blood
and you made me proud.
My son's a homosexual and I love him.
I love my dead, gay son.
How do you think he'd react to a son
that had a limp wrist with a pulse?
(Sniggers)
'Dear diary, my teen angst bullshit
has a body count.
'The most popular people
in school are dead.
'Everybody's sad
but it's a weird kind of sad.
'Suicide gave Heather depth,
Kurt a soul, Ram a brain.
'I don't know what it's given me
'but I've got no control
over myself when I'm with JD.
'Are we going to prom or to hell? '
Now, it seems we were in
a similar position on Monday
when I thoughtfully suggested
we get everybody together
for an unadulterated
emotional outpouring, but no.
You took this as an opportunity
to play yet another round
of "let's laugh at the hippy".
- Pauline...
- Shut up, Paul.
I've seen a lot of bullshit -
angel dust, switchblades,
sexually perverse photography exhibits
involving tennis rackets -
but this suicide thing...
guess that's more on Pauline's wavelength.
We're just going to write off today
and on Friday she can hold
her little love-in or whatever.
Whatever.
Attention!
May I have your attention, please?
This school has been
torn apart by tragedy.
I'm here today to fuse it back again
through togetherness.
I want everyone to clasp hands.
We need to connect this cafeteria
into one mighty circuit!
- (Woman) Excuse me.
- Here comes the TV crew!
Lock your paws!
- We're ready when you are.
- Hi, there.
Come on. Let's go. Here.
This will be on TV.
Let's show them how you feel!
Looks like Miss Phlegm's
on another one of her crusades.
With usual success, of course.
Come on, get up!
Hi, what's your name?
I'm Heather Duke.
Is this as good for you as it is for me?
Those fish sticks can wait. Let's go.
Come on, kids!
The whole world is watching!
Show them that you care!
Greetings and salutations.
I'll need a VHS copy of this by Monday
for my Princeton application.
(Pauline) You can beat this,
don't let suicide get you down.
(Veronica) That thing this afternoon,
I'm so angry, it was chaos, fucking chaos.
What are you talking about?
I mean, today was great.
Chaos was great.
Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling.
Face it, our way is the way.
We scare people into not being assholes.
Our way is not our way.
Oh, yeah? Tell that to the judge, all right?
Tell it to Kurt Kelly.
I'm telling it to you.
God, you can be so immature.
Oh! You kids are making
too much damn noise.
We beat the bitches.
Beautiful. The beaver's home.
Judge told them to slurp shit and die.
I put a Norwegian in the boiler room.
(Laughs sinisterly) Masterful.
And then when that blew,
it set off a pack of thermals I stuck upstairs.
Some days it's great to be alive.
Stick it to those goddamn...
Do you like your father?
Never given the matter much thought.
Liked my mother.
They said her death was an accident
but she knew what she was doing.
She walked into the building two minutes
before my dad