a tragic thing and
sometimes I have a hard time dealing with it and stuff.
Please send Heather to Heaven and all that.
-Dear God, please make sure this never happens to me,
cos I don't think I can handle suicide.
Plus, early acceptance into an Ivy League school
and please let it be Harvard. Amen.
Jesus, God in Heaven, why didcha kill such hot snatch?
Hey, it's a joke, man.
Jeez, people are so serious.
Hail Mary who aren't in Heaven,
pray for all the sinners, so we don't get caught.
Another joke man.
-I prayed for the death of Heather Chandler many times,
and I felt bad every time I did it,
but I kept doing it anyway.
Now I know you understood everything.
Praise Jesus, Hallelujah.
-Hi, I'm sorry.
Technically I did not kill Heather Chandler, but hey,
who am I trying to kid, right?
I just want my high school to be a nice place.
Amen.
Did that sound bitchy?
-Veronica, what're you doing tonight?
-I don't know, mourning, maybe watch some TV. Why?
-Well, Ram asked me out tonight,
but he wants to double with Kurt,
and Kurt doesn't have a date.
-Heather, I have something going with JD.
-Please Veronica, put Billy the Kid on hold for tonight.
I'm your best friend.
-So, we on tonight, man, or what?
-I don't know.
Still got to talk to Heather, dude.
Great funeral, huh?
-That pudwacker just stepped on my foot.
-Let's kick his ass!
-Cool off. We're seniors.
-You goddamn geek.
-Uh, well...
Sit and spin.
-Little prick.
-You piece of shit bag, you like to suck big dicks?
-Oww...
-Say I like to suck big dicks.
-Leave him a-lone, Ram.
-Oww...
-Say it...
Say it.
-Okay, okay.
-You like to suck big dicks.
-Oh, oh,
I like to suck big dicks.
Mmmm... Mmmmmm...
I can't get enough of 'em. Are you satisfied?
-Don't worry, Ram's been so sweet lately,
consoling me and stuff.
It'll be really very.
Promise.
-Okay, just as long as it's not one of those nights when
they get shit-faced and take us to a pasture to tip cows.
-Is he sleeping, dude?
-I think so, man.
-Come here...
-Shit...
-Cow-tipping's the fuckin' greatest.
-Punch it in!
-O.. okay on the count of three, guy.
-One, two, three.
-When I get that feeling,
I need sexual healing.
-Yeah, right, asshole.
-What is this shit?
-Doing a favour for Heather.
Double date.
I tried to tell you at the funeral,
but you rode off.
-Another fuckin' Heather.
Sorry, I'm feeling a little superior tonight.
Seven schools in seven states,
and the only thing different is my locker combination.
Our love is God.
Let's go get a slushie.
-I'm not belittling the foodless fund, Peter,
it's just that we're talking teenage suicide here.
Ask Alison: The number one song on America today is
"Teenage suicide, don't do it" by Big Fun.
Jesus man, Westerburg finally got one of these things,
and I'm not gonna blow it!
-Great. So Heather gets the front page,
and I get crammed in by the Taco Bell coupons.
-Hi guys.
Came to check up on this weeks lunch time poll topic.
-Don't worry about it Veronica. Sit down.
The funeral yesterday must really have been rough, eh?
-Oh, yeah...
-We were wondering if you had any poems...
artwork that Heather did that we can put
in the Heather Chandler Yearbook Spring.
-The what?
-Come here, take a look.
A two page layout, with her suicude note
right up here in the corner.
It's more tasteful than it sounds.
-I don't know Dennis,
this stuff leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
-Like last night, Veronica?
-Excuse me? I don't get it.
-What you did last night.
Kurt told us of your little date.
-Yeah, and? I left him drunk and flailing in cow shit.
-Well, I don't know,
he was really detailed...
-Shut up, Courtney.
-No, don't shut up, I'd like to know exactly what I did.
-Come on, Veronica.
I'll show you the lunch time poll topic.
-What the fuck?
-OK, I rarely listen to neanderthals like Kurt Kelly,
but he said that he and Ram had a nice little sword fight
in your mouth last night.
-You know what I mean?