Chaos was great.
Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling.
Face it, our way is the way.
We scare people into not being assholes.
Our way is not our way.
Oh, yeah? Tell that to the judge, all right?
Tell it to Kurt Kelly.
I'm telling it to you.
God, you can be so immature.
Oh! You kids are making
too much damn noise.
We beat the bitches.
Beautiful. The beaver's home.
Judge told them to slurp shit and die.
I put a Norwegian in the boiler room.
Masterful.
And then when that blew,
it set off a pack of thermals I stuck upstairs.
Some days it's great to be alive.
Stick it to those goddamn...
Do you like your father?
Never given the matter much thought.
Liked my mother.
They said her death was an accident
but she knew what she was doing.
She walked into the building two minutes
before my dad blew the place up.
She waved at me and then...
boom.
'Dudes, if I get one more request
for that Big Fun song,
'I'm gonna commit suicide.'
Playing our song.
'Here it is, Teenage Suicide Don't Do It.'
# Teenage suicide
# Don't do it
# Teenage suicide
# She blew it
# Teenage suicide
# Don't do it... #
That's it. We're breaking up.
What? You can't bring them back,
you must know that.
I'm not trying to bring anybody back
except maybe myself.
No!
To think once
I actually thought you were cool.
If you can't deal with me now
then just stay home and shoot your TV,
blow up a couple toasters or something.
Just don't come to school
and don't mess with me.
You'll be back.
Me and Martha Dumptruck?
Where did you get this?
Oh, I just had the nicest little chat
with Ms Dumptruck.
Got along famously.
It's scary how everybody's got
a little story to tell.
Want to see the canoeing shots?
What is this? Blackmail?
I'll give you a week's lunch money.
I don't want your money.
I want your strength.
Westerburg does not need
mushy togetherness,
it needs a strong leader.
Heather Chandler was that leader but...
But she couldn't handle it.
I think you can.
Moby Dick is dunked.
The white whale drank some bad plankton
and splashed through a coffee table
and now it's your turn to take the helm.
What about the photographs?
Oh, don't worry.
I'll ask you to do me a favour
and it'll be one you'll enjoy.
You'll get the negatives back then.
But in the meantime, strength.
Here's a little gift...
from Heather to Heather.
- Guess who.
- Heather?
'Hello? '
Hello, Betty? This is Veronica.
I don't believe it, I'm winning!
Don't you start getting cocky on me, girl.
I really missed you.
I know I'm not as exciting as
your other friends.
That is bullshit.
Shoot.
Do you know I'm still a virgin?
OK, I French-kissed Al Springer once.
It was a total disaster.
Shoot the ball.
Betty, your daydreams are a lot better than
my realities, believe me.
But now, prepare to die.
Ronnie.
You're not just going for those two shots.
I mean, go ahead, knock me out.
It's the only way to win.
It's not my style.
Nice guys finish last, I should know.
Bravo.
Bravo.
Listen, I got to get home, OK?
OK.
Thanks.
Bye, Betty.
Bye.
Betty, leaving so soon?
I'm red.
'The Westerburg suicides
were tough on all of us,
'but we shared the pain of losing
three very popular students.
'I came into the cafeteria,
asked them to hold hands... '
Isn't that that flake
we met at the open house?
'... burst of cleansing synchronicity,
'TV cameras happened
onto our path and captured... '
Cleansing synchronicity?
Outpouring of emotion?
Ha! Look! There's Heather.
There's Heather. Where are you, Veronica?
'Before a teenager decides to kill himself,
there are certain facts that he should know.
'After all, this decision affects all of us
and there's only one chance to get it right.'
'Getting some supervi... '
Turn that back on.
These programmes are eating suicide up.
They're making it sound like
a cool thing to do.
Are you trying to tell me it's not a time
for troubled youth? Stand up straight.
All we want is