good. Just remember he's left-handed. Keep going until you hit the clearing. Come on. - Mother of shit! - Call in. Hey, I heard something out there. I'm checking it out. This is Officer McCord. I've got two dead bodies in the woods behind Westerburg High. 'Milner, can you hear me? What's going down? ' Yeah... I think what I heard was just a bunny rabbit. All I've got here is two kids making out in a station wagon. 'Should I pry them apart? ' No. Forget it. I got all the answers back here. Hey... are they naked? Yeah, so what's the deal? Suicide. Double suicide. They shot each other. Hey, that's Kurt Kelly. Yeah, and the linebacker, Ram Sweeney. Phew. My God, suicide. Why? Does this answer your question? Oh, man. They were fags. Listen up. "We realised we could never reveal our forbidden love "to an uncaring and un-understanding world." Jesus H Christ! The quarterback buggering the linebacker. What a waste. Oh, the humanity. So we killed them, didn't we? Yeah. Of course. Echt Luger bullets. I'm such an idiot. Look, you believed it because you wanted to believe it. Your true feelings were too gross and icky for you to face. I did not want them dead. - You did too. - I did not. Did too. - I did not. - Did too. - Did not. - Did too. - Did not! Did not! - Did too! Shut up! I did not want them dead. - Come on, you did. You're just... - # Mary had a little lamb... # I did not! Young love! School's cancelled today because Kurt and Ram killed themselves in a repressed homosexual suicide pact! No way. God! The football season is over, Veronica. Kurt and Ram had nothing to offer the school but date rapes and AIDS jokes. Sure. Can we make an ice run before the funeral? If there's any way you can hear me, Kurt buddy... I don't care that you really were some... pansy. You're my own flesh and blood and you made me proud. My son's a homosexual and I love him. I love my dead, gay son. How do you think he'd react to a son that had a limp wrist with a pulse? 'Dear diary, my teen angst bullshit has a body count. 'The most popular people in school are dead. 'Everybody's sad but it's a weird kind of sad. 'Suicide gave Heather depth, Kurt a soul, Ram a brain. 'I don't know what it's given me 'but I've got no control over myself when I'm with JD. 'Are we going to prom or to hell? ' Now, it seems we were in a similar position on Monday when I thoughtfully suggested we get everybody together for an unadulterated emotional outpouring, but no. You took this as an opportunity to play yet another round of "let's laugh at the hippy". - Pauline... - Shut up, Paul. I've seen a lot of bullshit - бngel dust, switchblades, sexually perverse photography exhibits involving tennis rackets - but this suicide thing... guess that's more on Pauline's wavelength. We're just going to write off today and on Friday she can hold her little love-in or whatever. Whatever. Attention! May I have your attention, please? This school has been torn apart by tragedy. I'm here today to fuse it back again through togetherness. I want everyone to clasp hands. We need to connect this cafeteria into one mighty circuit! - Excuse me. - Here comes the TV crew! Lock your paws! - We're ready when you are. - Hi, there. Come on. Let's go. Here. This will be on TV. Let's show them how you feel! Looks like Miss Phlegm's on another one of her crusades. With usual success, of course. Come on, get up! Hi, what's your name? I'm Heather Duke. Is this as good for you as it is for me? Those fish sticks can wait. Let's go. Come on, kids! The whole world is watching! Show them that you care! Greetings and salutations. I'll need a VHS copy of this by Monday for my Princeton application. You can beat this, don't let suicide get you down. That thing this afternoon, I'm so angry, it was chaos, fucking chaos. What are you talking about? I mean, today was great.
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