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Смертельное влечение

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.. Now blah blah blah is all I do.
I use my grand IQ to decide what colour gloss to wear,
and how to hit three keggers before curfew.
-Mmm... Heather Chandler is one bitch that deserves to die.
-Killing her won't solve anything.
I say we just grow up, be adults and die.
But before that,
I'd like to see Heather Chandler puke her guts out.
-Trust me, she skips the Saturday morning trip to Grandma's,
even when she's not hungover.
-We'll just concoct ourselves a little hangover cure
that'll induce her to spew red, white and blue, then.
-What about like milk and orange juice.
What's the up-chuck factor on that?
-I'm a no-rust-build-up man, myself.
-Don't be a dick. That stuff'll kill her.
-Yeah...
-I know, we can cook up some soup, and put it in a coke.
It's... it's pretty sick, eh?
Now should it be chicken noodle or bean with bacon?
-Put a lid on that stuff.
I say we go with big blue here.
-What are you talking about?
She would never drink anything that looked like that, anyway.
-So we'll... put it in this.
She won't be able to see what she's drinking.
-It's only in a cup, jerk.
-Okay, milk and orange juice.
Mmm... well maybe we could cough up
a phlegm *globber or something*.
-Mmm...
-No?
Oh well, milk and orange juice will do it quite nicely.
-Mmm... you chicken?
-You're not funny.
-I'm sorry. Ahh...
-Veronica...
-What?
-Ahh... never mind. I'll... I'll carry the cup.
-Morning Heather.
-Veronica... Jesse James. Quelle surprise.
Hear about Veronica's affection for regurgitation?
-Heather, I think last night we both said
a lot of stuff we didn't mean.
-Did we? How the hell didcha get in here?
-Umm... Veronica knew you'd have a hangover,
so I whipped this up for you. It's a family recipe.
-What did you do, put a phlegm globber in it or something?
I'm not gonna drink that piss.
-I knew this stuff'd be too intense for her.
-Intense. Grow up!
You think I'll drink it just because you call me chicken?
Just give me the cup, jerk.
-Corn nuts!
-Oh my God. I can't believe it.
I just killed my best friend.
-And your worst enemy.
-Same difference.
-What're we gonna tell the cops?
Fuck it, if she can't take a joke, Searge?
-Oh the cops. I can't believe this is my life.
Oh my God.
I'm gonna have to send my SAT scores to San Quentin instead of Stanford.
-Ohh... alright...
I'm just a little freaked, here.
At least you got whatcha wanted, y'know?
-Got what I wanted?
It is one thing to want somebody out of your life,
it is another thing to serve them a wake-up cup full of liquid drainer.
-We did a murder and that's a crime,
but...
this were like a suicide thing, y'know?
-Like a suicide thing?
-Yeah. I mean, you can do Heather's handwriting
as well as your own, right?
...Right?
-You might think what I've done is shocking -
-Umm... to me, though, suicide is the natural answer
to the myriad of problems life has given me.
-That's good, but Heather would never use the word "myriad".
-This is the last thing she'll ever write
- she'll want to cash in on as many fifty cent words as possible.
-Yeah, but she missed "myriad" on the vocab test two weeks ago.
-It proves my point more.
The word is a badge for her failures at school.
-Oh. Okay, you're probably right.
People think that just because you're beautiful and popular,
life is easy and fun.
No-one understood, I had feelings too.
-I die knowing no-one knew the real me.
-That's good.
Have you done this before?
-Any other principal'd take the same position.
Keep things business as usual.
-Heather Chandler's not your every-day suicide.
She was very popular.
-Come on, Paul.
If I let these kids out before lunch,
the switchboard'd light up like a Christmas tree.
-I must say I was impressed to see
that she made proper use of the word "myriad" in her suicide note.
-I find it profoundly disturbing
that we're told of the tragic destruction of youth,
and all we can think to talk about is adequate mourning times
and
Смертельное влечение Смертельное влечение

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