food.
- Yeah, where is your urge to purge?
- Fuck it.
Look...
Heather left behind one of her Swatches.
She'd want you to have it, Veronica.
She always said
you couldn't accessorise for shit.
Sorry to hear about your friend.
I thought she was your usual airhead bitch.
Guess I was wrong.
We all were.
What a waste.
Oh, the humanity.
Veronica?
Veronica, what are you doing?
I'm just so thrilled...
to finally have an example
of the profound sensitivity of
which a human animal is capable.
That example is Heather Chandler.
I have her note.
Whoo!
I'm gonna pass this note around the class
so you can all feel
its pathetic beauty for yourself.
And while we do this,
I think it's a good opportunity to share...
the feelings that this suicide
has spurred in all of us.
Now, who would like to begin?
I heard it was really gnarly.
She sucked down a bowl of
multi-purpose deodorising disinfectant
and then smash!
Tracy, let's not rehash the coroner's report,
let's talk emotions.
Um, Heather and I used to go out
but she said I was boring.
But now I realise I really wasn't boring...
it's just that she was
dissatisfied with her life.
That's... very good, Peter.
Are we going to be tested on this?
'We were the same size
'so we could borrow
each other's clothes, mix it up. It was fun.'
"I remember I won her
a rhino at the 4-H Club... '
You're an asshole. Mute him.
- 'We liked the same clothes... '
- How many networks did you run to?
'It won't be the same without her.'
What are you talking about?
You hated her. She hated you.
'Every English class
I looked forward to seeing her... '
Heather Chandler
is more popular than ever now.
- Scary stuff.
- Yeah.
Hey, son, I didn't hear you come in.
Hey, Dad, how was work today?
It was miserable.
Some damn tribe of withered old bitches
doesn't want us to terminate
that fleabag hotel.
All because Glen Miller and his band
once took a shit there.
Just like Kansas.
You remember fucking Kansas?
That was the one with the wheat, right?
Yeah. Save the Memorial Oak Tree Society.
Showed those fucks.
30 of those 4th of July fireworks
attached to the trunk.
Arraigned but acquitted.
Gosh, Pop,
I almost forgot to introduce my girlfriend.
Oh. Veronica, this is my dad.
Dad, Veronica.
Hi.
Son, why don't you ask
your little friend to stay for dinner?
I can't. My mom's making
my favourite meal tonight -
spaghetti, lots of oregano.
How nice.
The last time I saw my mom
she was waving from
a library window in Texas. Right, Dad?
Right...
son.
Right.
Take a break, Veronica. Sit down.
So what was the first day
after Heather's suicide like?
Well, it was OK, I guess.
Terrible thing.
So, will we get to meet
this dark horse prom contender?
Maybe.
God, will somebody tell me
why I smoke these things?
Because you're an idiot.
Oh, yeah. That's it.
You two...
Great pвtй but I have to motor
if want to be ready for that funeral.
I blame not Heather
but rather a society
that tells its youth
that the answers can be found
in the MTV video games.
We must pray that the other
teenagers of Sherwood, Ohio,
know the name of that righteous dude
who can solve their problems.
It's Jesus Christ and he's in the book.
Amen.
'O God, this is a tragic thing
'and sometimes
I have a hard time dealing with it.
'Please send Heather to heaven.'
'Dear God, please make sure
this never happens to me,
'I don't think I can handle suicide.
'Early acceptance into an Ivy League school
and please let it be Harvard. Amen.'
'Jesus God in heaven,
why did you kill such hot snatch?
'It's a joke, man.
Jeez, people are so serious.
'Hail Mary, who aren't in heaven,
'pray for all us sinners
so we don't get caught.
'Another joke, man.'
'I prayed for the death of
Heather Chandler many times.
'I felt bad every time I did it
but I kept doing it.
'Now I know you understood everything.
'Praise Jesus. Hallelujah.'
'Hi. I'm sorry.
'Technically, I did not kill