a girl.
I'd use the money for
an end-of-the-world get-together.
I'd pay Madonna a million bucks
to sit on my face
and ride like the Kentucky Derby.
That's the most spooky-assed question
I ever heard.
After taxes, I'll only be getting...
She should pay me, though.
You go to the zoo and get a lion and
put a remote control bomb up its butt...
Then there's social security, legal fees...
Push the button on the bomb
and you and the lion die like one.
What?
Oh, my God. Here we go.
Oh, my God.
Hi, Veronica.
Five keeps an infant alive.
You wanted to be a member of
the most powerful clique in school.
If I wasn't already the head of it,
I'd want the same thing.
Come on, Veronica.
You used to have a sense of humour.
Veronica, could you
come back here a minute?
A true friend's work is never done.
- Gross.
- Gross.
Grow up, Heather. Bulimia is so '87.
- Maybe you should see a doctor.
- Yeah, maybe.
Come on, Heather,
let's take another look at today's lunch.
God, Veronica, drool much?
His name's Jason Dean.
He's in my American History.
Hello, Jason Dean.
Greetings and salutations.
Are you a Heather?
No.
I'm a Veronica. Sawyer.
This may seem like
a really stupid question...
There are no stupid questions.
You inherit $5 million.
The same day aliens land on the earth
and say they're going to blow it up
in two days. What do you do?
That's the stupidest question
I've ever heard.
Who's that guy in the coat
think he is anyways?
Bo Diddley?
Veronica's into his act, no doubt.
I don't know. Probably row out
to the middle of a lake,
bring along a bottle of tequila,
my sax and some Bach.
How very.
Come on, Veronica.
Later.
Definitely.
Let's kick his ass.
Shit, Ram, we're seniors, man.
We're too old for kind of that kind of crap.
Let's give him a good scare, though.
You going to eat this?
What did your boyfriend say when you told
him you were moving to Sherwood, Ohio?
Answer him, dick.
Hey, Ram, doesn't this cafeteria
have a "no fags allowed" rule?
They seem to have an open-door policy
for assholes, though, don't they?
What did you say, dickhead?
I'll repeat myself.
They won't expel him, they'll just
suspend him for a week or something.
He used a real gun.
They should throw his ass in jail.
No way. He used blanks.
All JD really did was ruin two pairs of pants.
Maybe not even that.
Can you bleach out urine stains?
You seem pretty amused. I thought
you had given up on high school guys.
Never say never.
What are you going to do, Heather?
Take the two shots or send me out?
Did you have a brain tumour for breakfast?
First you ask if you can be red,
knowing that I'm always red.
Shit.
It's your turn, Heather.
Easy shot, Heather.
No way, no day.
Give it up, girl.
- Holy shit.
- Incredible!
Whoo!
So tonight's the night. Are you two excited?
I'm giving Veronica her shot,
her first Remington party.
You blow it tonight, girl,
and it's keggers with kids all next year.
Why?
Why not?
Heather, your mother's here.
Come on, whoever wants a ride.
- Bye. Thank you.
- Bye-bye, girls.
Hey, take a break, Veronica. Sit down.
So what was the first week
of spring vacation withdrawal like?
I don't know. It was OK, I guess.
Hey, kid, isn't the prom coming up?
I guess.
Any contestants worth mentioning?
Maybe.
There's kind of
a dark horse in the running.
God, will somebody tell me
why I read these spy novels?
Because you're an idiot.
Oh, yeah, that's it.
You two...
Great pвtй, but I gotta motor
if I want to be ready for that party tonight.
Corn nuts!
BQ or plain?
BQ!
You're going to pull a super-chug with that?
No, but if you're nice,
I'll let you buy me a slushie.
I see you know
your convenience-speak pretty well.
Yeah, well, I've been
moved around all my life.
Dallas, Baton Rouge, Vegas...
Sherwood, Ohio.
There's always been
a Snappy Snack Shack.
Any town, any time, pop a ham and cheese
in the microwave and feast on a turbo-dog.
Keeps me