Chaos is great!
Chaos is what killed the dinosaures, darling.
Face it, our way is the way.
I mean, we scare people into not being assholes!
Our way is not 'our' way!
-Tell that to the judge, alright.
Tell it to Kurt Kelly!
-'Oh, God, Veronica!'
-I'm telling it to you!
God, you can be SO immature!
-Oh, you kids are making too much damn noise!
-We beat the bitches.
-Beautiful. The Beaver is home.
-The judge told them to slurp shit and die.
I put a Norwegian in the boiler room.
Masterful!
And then, when that blew...
it set off a pack of thermals I stuck upstairs.
Some days it's great to be alive.
-Do you like your father?
-I've never given the matter much thought.
I liked my mother.
They said her death was an accident,
but she knew what she was doing.
She walked into the building two minutes
before my dad blew the place up.
She waved at me, and then...
Boom.
-Dudes, if I'm getting one more request for that Big Fun song,
_I_ am gonna commit suicide!
-Hey, they're playing our song!
-Here it is: "Teenage Suicide, don't do it".
-That's it! We're breaking up!
-What?
-You you can't bring them back, you must know that.
-I am not trying to bring anybody back
except maybe myself.
-And to think there was a time
when I actually thought you were cool!
Man, if you can't deal with me now,
then just stay home and shoot your TV.
Blow up a couple of toasters or something.
Just don't come to school, and don't mess with me!
-You'll be back!
-Me and Martha Dumptruck?
Where did you get this?
-Ah, I just had the nicest little chat with Ms Dumptruck.
We got along famously.
Kind of scary though that
everybody has got a little story to tell.
Do you wanna see the canoeing shots?
-What is this? Blackmail?
I'll give you a weeks lunch money.
-I don't want your money.
I want your strength.
Westerburg doesn't need mushy togetherness,
it needs a strong leader.
Heather Chandler was that leader, but...
-But she couldn't handle it.
-I think you can.
Moby Dick is dunked.
The white whale drank some bad plankton
and splashed through a coffee table.
Now it's your turn to take the helm.
-What about the photographs?
-Don't worry.
I'll ask you to do me a favour,
it'll be one you'll enjoy.
And you'll get the negatives and everything back then.
But in the mean time... strength.
Here's a little gift.
Have a good day, Heather.
-Guess who?
-Heather?
-Hello?
-Hello Betty?
This is Veronica.
-I don't believe it, I'm winning!
-Don't you start getting cocky on me now, girl.
-I've really missed you.
I know I'm not as exciting as your other friends.
-That is bullshit. Shoot.
-Do you know I'm still a virgin?
Ok, I french kissed Al Springler once.
Total disaster!
-Shoot the ball!
-You know Betty, your day dreams are
much better than my reality, believe me...
But know, prepare to die.
-Ronnie!
-You're not gonna go for just those two shots?
Go ahead, knock me out.
It's the only way to win.
It's not my style.
-Nice guys finish last. I should know.
-Bravo.
-Brav-o!
-I gotta go home, OK?
-OK.
-Thanks.
-Bye, Betty.
-Betty, leaving so soon?
-I'm red.
"The Westerburg suicides were tough on all of us.
But we shared the pain of losing
three very popular students.
I came into the cafeteria
and asked them to hold hands, ..."
-Isn't that the flake we met at the Open House?
"... in a burst of cleansing syncronicity,
TV cameras happened upon the scene"
-Cleansing syncronicity?
-Outpouring of emotion?
-Look! There's Heather!
-And there's Heather!
Where are you, Veronica?
"Before a teenager decides to kill himself,
there are certain facts that he should know.
After all, this is a decision that effects all of us.
And there's only one chance to get it right."
-Turn that back on!
-Can't you see these programs
are eating suicide with a spoon?
They make it sound like it's a cool thing to do!
-Are you telling me this is not a time for troubled youth?
Stand up straight.
-All we want