aliens land on earth, and...
...say they're gonna blow up the world in two days.
-What are you gonna do with the money?
-I'd go to Egypt. With a girl.
-I'd use the money for an end-of-the-world get-together.
-I'd pay Madonna a million bucks to sit on my face
and have her ride like the Kentucky derby...
-That's gotta be the most spooky-assed question I ever heard.
-Alright, this is important. Tax is only the beginning...
-...she should pay me, though.
-You go to the zoo and get a lion,
then you put a remote-control bomb up its butt...
-...social security, legal fees...
-...you push the button on the bomb,
and you and the lion die like one.
-Whaaat?
-Oh my God. Here we go.
-Hi, Veronica.
Five keeps the neighbourhood alive.
-You wanted to be a member
of the most powerful clique in school.
If I wasn't already the head of it,
I'd want the same thing.
Come on Veronica, you used to have a sense of humour.
-Veronica, can you come back here a minute?
-True friend's work is never done.
-Gross. Grow up, Heather.
Bulimia is so '87.
-You know, maybe you should see a doctor.
-Yeah, maybe.
-Come on, Heather,
let's take another look at today's lunch.
-God, Veronica, drool much?
-His name's Jason Dean.
He's in my American History.
-Hello Jason Dean.
-Greetings and salutations.
You're a Heather?
-No, I'm a Veronica... Sawyer.
-This may seem like a really stupid question.
-There are no stupid questions.
-You inherit five million dollars.
The same day aliens land on the earth
and say they're gonna blow it up in two days.
What do you do?
-That's the stupidest question I've ever heard.
-Who does that guy in the coat think he is,
anyways, Bo Diddley?
-Veronica's into his act, no doubt.
-Ahh, I don't know.
Probably row out to the middle of a lake somewhere,
bring along a bottle of Tequila,
my sax and... some bac'.
-How very.
-Come on, Veronica.
-Later.
-Definitely.
-Let's kick his ass!
-Shit Ram. We're seniors man.
We're too old for that kinda crap.
Let's give him a good scare, though.
-You gonna eat this?
-What did your boyfriend say
when you told him you were moving to Sherwood, Ohio?
-Answer him, dick.
-Hey Ram, doesn't this cafeteria
have a "no fags allowed" rule?
-Well they... seem to have an open-door policy
for assholes, though, don't they?
-What did you say, dickhead?
-Ahh... I'll repeat myself.
-God, they won't expel him.
They'll just suspend him for a week or something.
-He used a real gun.
They should throw his ass in jail.
-No way, he used blanks.
All JD really did was ruin two pairs of pants.
Maybe not even that.
Can you bleach out urine stains?
-You seem pretty amused.
-I thought you had given up on high school guys.
-Never say never.
-So what're you going to do, Heather,
take the two shots or send me out?
-Did you have a brain tumour for breakfast?
First you ask if you can be red,
knowing that I'm always red.
-Oh, shit.
-It's your turn Heather.
-Easy shot Heather.
-No way, no day.
-Give it up, girl.
-Holy shit!
-God, that was incredible.
-Wooh!
-So, tonight's the night. Are you two excited?
-I'm giving Veronica her shot,
her first Remington party.
-You blow it tonight girl,
and it's "keggers with kids" all next year.
-Why?
-Why not?
-Heather, your mother's here.
-Come on, whoever wants a ride.
-Hey, take a break Veronica. Sit down.
So, what was the first week of...
spring vacation withdrawal like?
-I d'know. It was okay I guess.
-Hey kid, isn't the prom coming up?
-I guess.
-Any contestants worth mentioning?
-Maybe... there's kind of a dark horse in the running.
-Goddamn will somebody tell me
why I read these spy novels?
-Cos you're an idiot.
-Oh yeah, that's it.
-You two.
-Great pate, but I gotta motor
if I want to be ready for that party tonight.
-Corn nuts!
-BQ or plain?
-BQ!
-Are you gonna pull a super-chug with that?
-No, but if you're nice,
I'll let you buy me a slushie.
I see you know your convenience-speak