about? You hated her, she hated you. "every English class, I looked forward to seeing her -" -Heather Chandler's more popular than ever, now. -Scary stuff. -Hey, son, I didn't hear you come in. -Hey, dad, how was work today? It was miserable. Some damn tribe of withered old bitches doesn't want us to terminate that fleabag hotel. Huh. All because Glenn Miller and his band once took a shit there. Just like Kansas. Remember fucking Kansas? -Yeah, that was the one with the wheat, right? -'eah... "Save The Memorial Oak Tree" Society. Showed those fucks. -Thirty of those 4th of July fireworks attached to the trunk. Arraigned, but acquitted. -Gosh, pop, I almost forgot to introduce my girlfriend. -Veronica, this is my Dad. Dad - Veronica. -Hi -Son, why don't you ask your little friend to stay for dinner? I can't, my Mom's making my favourite meal tonight, spaghetti... lots of oregano. -How nice. Last time I saw my Mom, she was waving from a library window in Texas. Right Dad? -Right... son. -Right. -Hey, take a break Veronica. Sit down. -So, what was the first day after Heather's suicide like? -I d'know. It was okay, I guess. -Terrible thing. -So... we get to meet this dark horse prom contender? -Maybe. -Goddamn will somebody tell me why I smoke these damn things? -Cos you're an idiot. -Oh yeah, that's it. -You two. -Great pate, but I gotta motor if I want to be ready for that funeral. -I blame not Heather, but rather a society that tells its youth that the answers can be found in the MTV video games. We must pray that the other teenagers of Sherwood, Ohio know the name of that righteous dude who can solve their problems. It's Jesus Christ, and he's in the book. -Amen. -Oh God, this is a tragic thing and sometimes I have a hard time dealing with it and stuff. Please send Heather to Heaven and all that. -Dear God, please make sure this never happens to me, cos I don't think I can handle suicide. Plus, early acceptance into an Ivy League school and please let it be Harvard. Amen. Jesus, God in Heaven, why didcha kill such hot snatch? Hey, it's a joke, man. Jeez, people are so serious. Hail Mary who aren't in Heaven, pray for all the sinners, so we don't get caught. Another joke man. -I prayed for the death of Heather Chandler many times, and I felt bad every time I did it, but I kept doing it anyway. Now I know you understood everything. Praise Jesus, Hallelujah. -Hi, I'm sorry. Technically I did not kill Heather Chandler, but hey, who am I trying to kid, right? I just want my high school to be a nice place. Amen. Did that sound bitchy? -Veronica, what're you doing tonight? -I don't know, mourning, maybe watch some TV. Why? -Well, Ram asked me out tonight, but he wants to double with Kurt, and Kurt doesn't have a date. -Heather, I have something going with JD. -Please Veronica, put Billy the Kid on hold for tonight. I'm your best friend. -So, we on tonight, man, or what? -I don't know. Still got to talk to Heather, dude. Great funeral, huh? -That pudwacker just stepped on my foot. -Let's kick his ass! -Cool off. We're seniors. -You goddamn geek. -Uh, well... Sit and spin. -Little prick. -You piece of shit bag, you like to suck big dicks? -Oww... -Say I like to suck big dicks. -Leave him a-lone, Ram. -Oww... -Say it... Say it. -Okay, okay. -You like to suck big dicks. -Oh, oh, I like to suck big dicks. Mmmm... Mmmmmm... I can't get enough of 'em. Are you satisfied? -Don't worry, Ram's been so sweet lately, consoling me and stuff. It'll be really very. Promise. -Okay, just as long as it's not one of those nights when they get shit-faced and take us to a pasture to tip cows. -Is he sleeping, dude? -I think so, man. -Come here... -Shit... -Cow-tipping's the fuckin' greatest. -Punch it in! -O.. okay on the count of three, guy. -One, two, three. -When I get that feeling, I need sexual healing. -Yeah, right, asshole. -
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