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No, it's not Heather.
No
It's Madonna.
Jeez, no, not that.
-Hey babe, I need a name.
-My name is Tweety.
-Tweety? Oh, tweet!
-God has cursed me, I think.
The last guy I had sex with, killed himself the next day.
I'm failing math, my whole life is a mess.
I was supposed to be captain of the cheerleading team...
-She knows we listen to this show...
-Holy shit! We'll crucify her!
-My parents are divorced and stuff...
-Heather told everyone about Heather.
Yes, dear diary.
I cut off Heather Chandlers head,
and Heather Dukes head has sprung right back in its place,
like some mythological thing
my eigth grade boyfriend would have known about.
Heather's even doing the old note trick.
I've seen JD's way.
I've seen Ms Pauline Flemings way
and nothing has changed.
I guess that's Heathers way.
And Jesus, what about JD?
I can't get him out of my head!
Wait. Where's Heather going?
-Where's Heather going?
-She's going to cry!
-Fucking child protected caps!
-Where's she going?
-Heather!
-What are you trying to do? Kill me?
-What are you trying to do? Sleep?
-Suicide is a private thing.
-Heather, you're throwing your life away
to become a statistics in the US fucking A Today.
That's about the least private thing I can think of.
-What about Heather and Kurt and Ram?
-If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you?
-Probably.
-If you're happy every day of your life,
you wouldn't be a human being,
you'd be a game show host.
-What do you say we knock off early and
buy some shoes or something lame like that?
-OK.
-So it has come to this...
Heather Chandler did polls,
I want you to do a petition.
As a favour. As THE favour.
You've heard of the group Big Fun, right?
-That's right. "Teenage suicide, don't do it".
-Right. Some teeny-bopper rag say
they want to play a prom.
Could be Westerburg's if we get everybody's John Hancock.
-I'll get right on, coach.
A little gift for you, I won't be needing it.
-Heather?
-Veronica. Color me stoked, girl.
I've gotten everybody to sign this petition.
Even those who think Big Fun are tuneless Euro fags.
People love me! You know, you haven't signed yet.
-People love you, but I know you.
Jennifer Forbes said the petition
she signed was to put a hot tub in the cafeteria,
and Doug Hilton said...
-Some people need different kinds of convincing than others.
Just sign the petition, OK?
-Don't talk to me like that, OK?
-Look, it was JD's idea.
He made out the signature sheets and everything,
so why don't you just sign it!
-No.
-Jealous much?
-Heather, why can't you just be a friend?
Why are you such a mega bitch?
-Because I can be.
Veronica, why are you pulling my dick?
Do you think...
I mean, do you really think
if Betty Finns fairy godmother made her cool,
she'd still hang out with her dweebette friends?
No way, Veronica.
-Want to go out tonight?
Catch a movie, you know, some miniature golf?
-I was thinking more along the lines
of slitting Heather Dukes wrists open,
making it look like a suicide.
-Now you're talking!
I could be up for that.
I've already started underlining meaningful
passages in her copy of "Moby Dick",
if you know what I mean.
I knew you'd be back...
I knew it. I was positive, I was sure.
-It's over JD, over. Grow up!
-I don't get it! You were wrong, and I was right!
Strength, damn it!
Come on, come back!
-Yes?
-Your friend Jason Dean stopped by,
he seemed very concered about you.
He said that he thought
you might try to kill yourself.
-You've been depressed lately.
Oh, he left this for you.
-Oh my God.
-He said we should keep you away from sharp objects,
closed garage doors, chemicals, prescription drugs...
-"...and even for hate, thou cans't but kill,
and all are killed".
I like it.
It's got that "what a cruel world,
so lets toss ourselves in the abyss" type of ambience.
-Come on! It's Heathers copy of Moby Dick.
Why don't you give it a try.
Underline something.
-Get off of my bed, you
Смертельное влечение Смертельное влечение

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