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Служебный роман

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mean?
- I mean clothes.
Why do you need this?
Oh, I'm sorry, Ludmila Prokofievna!
It's OK. A relative
has come to see me.
She lives in a small town
and... is interested.
I see. I see.
Let's start with the shoes.
Shoes make a woman a woman.
Is it so?
Shoeses now should be
high-heeled, and with a lappet.
What is "shoeses"?..
I don't know that.
It's from English "shoes".
Meaning footwear, in English.
I got it now...
As for boots, they should be
high-heeled and pleated.
Wait a minute, I have to
write it down. Not so fast.
OK, OK....
I'll make notes.
What should be pleated?
The heel?
The top.
Ah, yes...
Does your relative
have beautiful legs? Slender?
Legs... Just legs... Let's assume
they are standard.
OK, I see. So, bad legs
should be hidden.
Where?
Under a maxi!
Oh, you're a one, Zhora!
- What does that mean?
- Inventory check.
4322. Chair.
1315. Business souvenir.
- What's the matter, comrades?
3892. Table lamp.
- 113. Chair.
- Look, how good this lamp is.
- Comrades, wait a second...
- Conference table, 4308.
How dare you burst in?
We are fulfilling your order,
comrade director.
You are brain workers.
And so we are.
4264. Calculating machine.
Careful, please!
- Let's go to the conference room.
- Absolutely no tact.
- Vase, 1348.
- Let's go.
- Locusts! Highjackers!
1319. An ink set.
5869. "Moser" vase.
1314. Business gift: an airplane.
4319. Chair.
Zhora, what can this be?
- A rude word is written on it.
- Delete.
Another important factor
is combinatorics.
Meaning... matching things.
A sweater on top.
A slimline shirt.
Right now, they're up in the mall...
a blazer, maybe...
- What's a blazer?
- A blazer is a club jacket.
- For a House of Culture?
- ...For it, too.
A blazer, a shirt, but that's not
the main thing.
For example, wigs are not
in fashion now, then...
Thank Heaven. It is much better
without them, lively, isn't it?
A wig is... like a house on your head.
Well, if you want it lively, then yes.
What do we have if there are
no wigs? We have the face.
Now, eyebrows are
of collossal importance.
Since we are having
this discussion, I am sorry...
...but let's take your brows.
What about my brows?
They are just indecent.
If your brows are so thick...
...you have to do something
about them.
And what can be done
about them?
You have to pluck them.
Thin out.
With what?
For example, with a drawing pen.
A drawing pen?
But that will hurt!
And what of it?
You're a woman, have patience.
An eyebrow should be
thin as a thread...
...and raised in amazement.
Like yours?
Well, I'm not perfect either.
But that plucking...
...you'll need a lot of pain-killers.
That is still
not the main thing.
What is the difference between
a business woman and a... Woman?
What?
The walk!
Here. How do you walk?
How?
It's just unbelievable!
You would clot up, knot down,
curdle and turdle...
...like and old torn shoe,
and off she is, whooshing to work...
...as if she drives piles home!
Now, how do we walk?
My God, is this how I walk?
A woman should be a mystery.
The head is up, slightly.
The eyes are down, a bit.
Here, everything is relaxed.
Shoulders are drawn backwards.
The gait is free
and starts from the hip.
It's a loose relaxed posture
of a panther ready to attack.
Men can't miss such a woman.
Can one learn to walk like this
or is this... unachievable?
Even a hare can be
taught to smoke.
In principle,
nothing is impossible...
You think so?
...for people... having brains.
Get up.
Adjust your clothes.
I'm afraid I won't cope
with that science.
It's nothing,
you'll manage.
Don't be nervous.
Head, forward.
Breast, forward.
Breast? You flatter me, Vera!
Everybody flatters you.
Pull it up at the back.
Pull in the belly
from the front.
How? Either here...
or... or there...
Do as you are told:
everything in.
Everything in?
And advance freely.
Walk from the hip, relaxed! Go!
Ludmila Prokofievna,
Служебный роман Служебный роман

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