has caused me so much pain!
That's the reason why I'm ailing,
And I'm suffering from strain.
The bloody scoundrel's so clever!
He has fooled me! Well I never!
All your magic was in vain,
He got the carpet all the same!
Though he doesn't seem so bright,
He has got a keen mind!
Next time, when you do your magic,
Try to do it damn right!
OLD WITCH
Magic, magic, you know what,
Three are here, yours are not,
Ace of diamonds, oaken coffin,
Tell me all about Fedot!...
Ah-a, mm-mm... To my calls
I've got the following response:
Let him search and find a deer
With the branch of golden horns.
There's nowhere in the world
Such a deer, take my word!
I can tell you that for sure
As a naturalist, my lord!
The Tsar called
the daring fellow to the court.
Hardly had Fedot brushed
the sweat off his mush,
when the Tsar got
a new thought.
The Tsar's head whirled with ideas
while Fedot had to sweat head over ears.
In short, Fedot's life
was all rot!
TSAR
Shake of idleness! Today
You'll have to get under way,
I'm in a desperate need of a deer,
It's a state mission, I must say.
If you're a loyal man,
You will do the best you can,
Go across the hills and swamps,
Find a deer with golden horns.
Don't talk back, and do not scold,
Go and do as you are told,
Or you'll get to know right off
How your head can be cut off!
Fedot came home,
in beastly form.
He sat down by the window,
snivelling, his sight dim.
His charming wife clung to him,
but he didn't touch
the one he loved so much.
He just sat shedding tears,
suffering from grief, that is.
MARUSYA
Tell me, why are you looking blue?
Does anything worry you?
Has the soup too little salt?
Has the beefsteak any fault?
FEDOT
Dash! To eat I'm not willing,
It's the Tsar again. The villain!
He will call me to account
For the task that he has given.
He's s more ruthless than a foe!
He has ordered me to go
And find a deer, and he wants
A deer with golden horns!
MARUSYA
There's no reason to be sad,
Things are not as bad as that.
Stand before me, Frol and Tit,
Get immediately what we need!
Marusya claps her hands, and two burly
fellows appear in front of her.
MARUSYA
Do you hear what I say?
Go and do it without delay!
FELLOWS
You don't have to doubt us,
We have done it many times!
At day-break Fedot
brought the deer to the court.
Out of fury and spite
the Tsar got a stitch in the side.
He would crush the swine
but he gave no sign.
He sat yawning, pretending languor,
hiding his anger!
FEDOT
You've been waiting for it, right?
Well, I've got it, look outside!
Did you order me a deer?
There you are! You can take pride!
The deer's horns, for you to know,
Give out a brilliant sparkling glow,
It's as bright as broad daylight,
So you'll need no lamp at night.
TSAR
No such deer can be found
In these places, nor around!
There are three of them or so
In Baghdad, for all I know.
Now, you soldier, figure out
Where is Moscow and where's Baghdad,
Could you possibly have travelled
To Baghdad in just one night?
FEDOT
Damn! You're really being funny!
The deer isn't so fine, eh?
Didn't you tell me yesterday
To get one for love or money?
If you are as rich as that,
I'll return it to Baghdad.
Who's the ruler there now?
The chap will really be glad!
TSAR
Lay off, Fedya, and don't fret,
Or you will lay down your head!
I know what you're driving at,
I see through you, remember that!
Anyhow, to save your face
I'll excuse you in this case,
Here's a coin for you, buy vodka.
Now get out of this place!
The Tsar ordered to get
the General straight from bed.
Seized with panic, all at once,
the General reached for his underpants;
he wasn't at all pleased
knowing it wasn't a feast.
The Tsar was sitting in his

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