is underdone?
FEDOT
Dash it! I don't feel like eating,
The Tsar's ferocity is killing!
The villain knows no justice, heck!
There's no keeping him in check!
He has ordered me to get
A carpet with an ornament
Which must be as big as Russia
With the lakes and woods on it!
MARUSYA
Don't you worry, don't you sob!
Never mind the crazy snob!
Stand before me, Frol and Tit,
Get immediately what we need!
Marusya claps her hands, and two burly
fellows appear in front of her.
MARUSYA
Do you hear what I say?
Go and do it without delay!
FELLOWS
You don't have to doubt us,
We have done it many times!
The next morning Fedot
arrived at the court
to show the Tsar
the carpet he'd got.
Out of surprise the Tsar
choked with caviar.
He was cross but he didn't
want to show that he was.
He pretended that he was
as glad as could be!
FEDOT
I was told to get a carpet,
As you see, I've really got it,
Both the pattern and the colour
Are exactly as you wanted!
The whole of Russia is depicted
On the carpet. You may keep it.
It's my spouse's gift, brand new,
She has woven it for you!
TSAR
You're a dodger through and through!
How m'ny maids are you married to?
You cannot be engaged to
An entire weaving mill, can you?
I know you have a wife, Fedot,
She's the only one you've got,
And to weave a thing like this
One has got to have a lot!
FEDOT
Is the carpet not so fine?
Or you don't like the design?
Then I'll put it on my shoulder,
That's the end, I draw the line!
Lest my efforts be in vain
I shall sell it to trades men,
And I do not care a damn
If it flows to Amsterdam!
TSAR
I would be so glad to slash
You with a whip or with a lash,
So that you might never again
Play your jokes on serious men!
However, as a man I'm quiet,
And I'm fair, I'll give you right:
Here's a coin for you, buy vodka.
Now get out of my sight!
The Tsar calls the god damn General.
The former looks terrible,
his face like a beet-root,
the sign of a bad mood,
for when he is red,
he's a real threat!
He will beat you once, never twice,
and straight between the eyes!
The General knows
that from his own experience,
he's been wearing
a band ever since.
TSAR
Well, my General, I imagine,
You have missed by a small margin,
But this margin will make up
Five years of a prison camp!
You're broad in shoulders all right,
But you've grown dull in mind,
There's a chance, at state expense,
To restore your mental health.
GENERAL
You may jail me any day
For any term, but I should say,
Prison as an object lesson
Will not help me anyway.
I would rather, sword in hand,
Fight for our dear land,
As for these petty intrigues
Count me out of such things!
TSAR
Come, your honour, be a good chap,
Don't you get into a flap,
Think about how Fedot
Can be laid down without a sword.
If you fool about 'nd refuse,
Then don't look for an excuse;
I shall wipe your mug, you swine,
With this very fist of mine!
The General had no grounds
to rub his hands:
he couldn't smash Fedot
at one dash.
Again the poor man's brain
had cracked under strain.
There wasn't a single thought
in his thinking pot!
He thought again and again
but all was in vain.
This way or another, he knew:
without Yaga he couldn't do.
Again he made his way to the wood
where he thought he would
find a bridle on Fedot.
OLD WITCH
Why are you so glum again?
What's the reason, who's to blame?
Are the Spaniards too pugnacious?
Do the French lay any claim?
Here's a mould drink I have made,
Take a gulp, don't be afraid.
It will help you to forget
All the cares of life, I bet!
Though it’s out of the way,
It will cool you anyway,
You'll be healthy by tomorrow
If you do not die today!
GENERAL
It's the soldier-man again,
He