Old Witch appear.
OLD WITCH
I'm a folklore element,
I have got a document!
I can fly away from here
Any time, at any moment!
For a hot or stormy day
People blame me anyway,
Though I'm harmless. You know, I
Wouldn't even hurt a fly.
Sorry, I have gone astray,
It just happened that way,
Don't be strict to me, I'm only
A child of nature, so to say!
If it comes to that, blame these
Two of my accomplices.
Though I look an evil doer,
Compar'd wi' them, I'm pure!
FEDOT
You're all so shrewd, you folk,
I'm in a state of shock!
You blame one another while
Each of you is equally vile!
Though we Russians feel contempt
For severe punishment,
Yet I'll have to try you, friends,
For a criminal offence.
TSAR
Please, Fedot, be merciful!
I'm a downright scoundrel!
Exile me to Cherepovets,
Or Voronezh, or Yelets!
Only not to Magadan -
I am too old a man,
I'm afraid, I shall run down
Before I get to that town!
GENERAL
I acknowledge all my guilt
And the gravity of it,
I should ask you, let me go
And fight in a current war.
If there's no war, I'll accept
Prison, exile - all, except
That I wish it were near
The Black Sea, in the Crimea!
FEDOT
We shall put you in a barrel,
Throw you in the sea to travel.
It's not a travel first class,
So don't expect a ship from us.
May the ocean take you round,
Get you to the  Buyan Island,
I will give you my accordion,
So that you might not grow wild.
I'm sorry, I must say,
The accordion doesn't play,
However, as a sign of culture,
You will need it anyway .
Now, my fellow countrymen,
Keep your chins up if you can,
After all, we are not here
For a funeral, are we?
We will not shed tears for once
For it's time to eat and dance,
Come out, stand in front of me,
Something That Cannot Be!
VOICE
It is a long time that I
Have been standing nearby ,
Waiting for you to wind up,
Not daring to interrupt!
FEDOT
Will you treat us all to these
Lavish things from overseas?
People may have never tasted
Such superb delicacies!
Bring us all that you can get,
Marmalade and chocolate
Finnish bacon, sausage, ham,
Smoked meat from Amsterdam!
Get that Swiss cheese wrapped in rolls,
I mean the one that's full of holes.
We shall keep it, just in case,
Specially for gourmets.
And if somebody wants a drink,
Home-brew, wine or anything,
He may have a glass or two,
There's something to drink to!
I was there
and I ate caviar.
Filat ate a salad, Prof ate pilaff,
Ustin ate galantine.
As for Soldier Fedot he had
a cucumber with salt.
There were cakes and ale!
And that's the end of the fairy tale.
You may think the tale is bad,
well, the storyteller is to blame for that!
I wish I could catch the fool
and give him his gruel,
but it's against the rule
for the teller is a fool,
and our people are not used
to censure fools!
Author and performer
Leonid FILATOV
Directed by Z.ALIEVA
Director of Photography
Yu.ISAKOV
Production Designer
L.MURASHKO
Music by
A.CHAIKOVSKY
English translation
by Alec VAGAPOV
Subtitles by
Boris BULGAKOV
Main Office of the Literary
and the Theater Shows