ShowsONE-MAN SHOW Leonid Filatov THE TALE OF SOLDIER FEDOT, THE DARING FELLOW. A fairy tale for stage performance (based on the Russian folklore). Translated by Alec VAGAPOV Believe it or not, once there lived soldier Fedot, and this is the tale of the daring fellow. He was neither handsome nor a fright, neither wealthy nor hard up, neither ragged nor dressed up, neither pale nor ruddy-faced, he was so-so, quite commonplace. Fedot's mission was hunting and fishing. The Tsar had fish and game, Fedot had thanks and that was his gain. The Tsar's palace was crammed with travellers. One was a Greek, another Hawaiian, a third was a Swede, and they all needed a feed! One wanted lobsters, another wanted oysters, a third wanted a prawn while the catcher was only one. One day Fedot was ordered to come to the court. The Tsar was the shrimp of a man, his head like a little onion, while his malice could fill the whole palace. He looked at Fedot as if to say: "I can't stomach you anyway". Out of dread Fedot turned wet, his ears started ringing, his guts gave way, and here's the beginning of the tale, so to say. TSAR The British envoy has come for Our refreshment after night before, While we only have to eat Stale bread, a bone... and that's it! You must go and bring some food, Something special, something good, Say, a partridge, or a grouse Or whatever, from the wood. If you can't do that, my dear, I shall have to execute you, hear? It's a matter of importance, A state affair, is it clear? FEDOT Yes, of course, I understand, I'm wise enough for that, A stupid bumpkin I'm not, And I do know what is what. Well, as far as I can see, I make all the policy, If I fail to shoot a grouse, There will be a war on us. To content the British guest I shall do my double best, Even at the cost of life I'll procure some food-stuff. The Tsar's word is as firm as wood: if he says: "Go bear hunting", you will go bear hunting. What else can you do? You just have to! Fedot had covered the ground of a hundred of woods and bogs around. Alas, there was neither a partridge nor a grouse! He was all in, dog-tired, and it was almost night. He had nothing in the bag, yet it was time to go back. Suddenly, as if in a vision, he saw a bird, a little wood-pigeon. It didn't try to hide showing no sign of fright. FEDOT What affliction! What a shame! There isn't any trace of game. Pr'haps that's the bird I have to shoot, It's at least some kind of food! They say pigeon meat is bad, I should not agree with that, When you have it with a sauce It's like a grouse, or not worse. PIGEON Please, don’t hurt me, dear Fedot, It’s quite worthless, is it not? Just one bird is not enough For a dish or pillow stuff. Your foreigner might like to eat Some kind of very special meat, Whereas my meat’s just enough To make a wild cat laugh. FEDOT Is the goblin somewhere here? Are these tricks of the evening air? Is there anything the matter With my eyes or with my ear? Has the Tsar decreed That pigeons Should now speak Like human beings? PIGEON Don't do wrong to me, Fedot, Take me home, and you know what: When you bring me to your chamber I shall be your destined lot! I shall sew and wash and cook, Never give you a rebuke, I shall keep the house clean, And I'll play the violin! FEDOT What a story, what a gag! All right, get into my bag, When we get home I'll find out What this trick is all about! Fedot brought the bird to his room and sat there hanging his head, filled with gloom. He was really sad, and there was a reason for that. His game hunt hadn't come off, and it was no joke – the ------------------------------ Читайте также: - текст Адмирал на английском - текст Увлечения на английском - текст Кубик-Рубик на английском - текст Сети зла на английском - текст Иван Васильевич меняет профессию на английском |