persons.
He's from out of town, okay?
He speaks English, right?
Don't be such faggots!
Man, shut up.
Kidding. Sorry.
Think we're gonna die?
Definitely.
Did you put the cat out?
We don't have a cat.
Come on, damn it.
Answer.
Mmm.
Aw, eat me.
Who is it?
Well, what
did they want?
Sex.
Dd
Whoo.
Geek!
Very nice!
We're five minutes in...
I'm at a loss.
Real smooth, Cliff.
Ooh.
I've never been out
with a boy before.
Oh, me neither.
Jake?
Where are you, Jake?
Jakey, have you
stopped loving me?
Leave me alone.
What? I'm sorry,
I don't do that.
Yes, you do.
I know.
Come on.
Trace. You guys.
Would you help me,
please?
Oh, shit! Come on, you
guys. I'm your prom queen.
Trace, you guys,
I'm serious.
Come on. I need help.
Okay.
I need help too.
What is the problem?
Several things.
Okay. We'll help you.
Don't go away,
Caroline, baby.
Hello?
Hello?
Listen, I know you're there.
I can hear you breathing.
Yes, hello, sir. Um...
Are you the little bugger
that's been calling up...
and then hanging up?
Would it be possible to tell me
if there is a Samantha Baker there?
And if so, sir, may I
converse with her briefly?
Yes, it is.
And no, you may not.
Might I leave a message, sir?
He wants to leave
a message for Sam.
Here, give me that phone.
Now, you listen to me,
mister.
God did not put me on this earth to
be awakened by filthy suggestions...
from a foul-mouthed hooligan
like you.
And as for our granddaughter, I'm
sure she has more than enough sense...
to stay clear of the likes
of you!
Now, good night
and good-bye!
That was great.
Sam's lucky she has us, Howard. Yeah.
Even if she doesn't
appreciate us.
Do you promise you won't
get mad? No, I love you.
Okay,
close your eyes.
Scalpel.
Scalpel.
Oooh!
My God.
That was wonderful.!
I don't know how
to thank you enough.
My pleasure.
My God.!
Wow.
I hope they have insurance.
The party's over.
What a disaster.
Jake!
Sam.
Sweetheart?
Daddy?
Hi, kiddo.
What's wrong? Nothing.
Everything's fine.
I was just upstairs,
and I couldn't sleep.
I feel like a real jerk,
honey.
We forgot your birthday.
I bet you're really
P.O. 'd, huh?
No, it's okay. I'm not
really all that upset anymore.
This wedding is really turning
this entire house inside out.
And I just came down to tell you
that we did remember.
Thanks, Dad.
Happy birthday.
Is something else wrong?
No, why?
I don't know, I just get the feeling
that something's bothering you.
Something other than
your birthday.
No, I'm fine. Really.
I think I know what it is.
It has to do
with a certain guy?
I know, honey.
I know.
We're all upset that
Ginny's marrying a bohunk.
What's the matter?
I meantJake.
Jake?
Wait a minute. I thought she
said his name was Rudy. Forget it.
Forget what?
Who's Jake?
He's a boy, Daddy. It's nothing.
Okay? Just forget it, please.
Come on, Sam.
We're not communicating.
It's extremely
embarrassing, okay?
What's embarrassing?
Sitting in the dark with your dad,
telling him about your love life.
I'm afraid you lost me
again, Sam.
Jake is a senior, and
he's beautiful and perfect.
I like him a real lot, and
he doesn't like me. Okay?
Oh.
And he's got this
incredible girlfriend.
I'm just this ridiculous dork that's
following him around like a puppy.
Why do you think
you're a dork?
I don't think you're a dork.
I don't think Mom thinks you're a dork.
- Mike thinks I'm a dork.
- Mike is a dork.
But so am I.
Well, if it's any consolation,
I love you.
And if this guy can't see in you all the
beautiful and wonderful things that I see,
then he's got the problem.
I know. It just hurts.
That's why they call them crushes.
If they were easy,
they'd call 'em something else.
But if I were Ginny,
I'd have this guy
crawling on his knees.
Well, let me tell you something