music)
(music)I remember always always (music)
(music)I got such a fright (music)
(music)Seeing them in my dark cupboard (music)
(music) With my great big cake (music)
- (music)lf they were me
If they were me (music)
- [Yawning]
(music)And I was you
And I was you (music)
(music)lf they were me
If they were me (music)
(music)And I was you
And I was you (music)
(music)lf they were me
and I was you (music)
(music) Would you have liked
a present too (music)
(music)Happy, happy birthday
in a hot bath (music)
(music) To those nice, nice nights (music)
(music)I remember always always (music)
(music)I got such a fright (music)
(music)Seeing them in my dark cupboard (music)
(music) With my great big cake (music)
(music)lf they were me
If they were me (music)
(music)And I was you
And I was you (music)
(music)lf they were me
If they were me (music)
(music)And I was you
And I was you (music)
(music)lf they were me and I was you (music)
[Sighing]
(music) Would you have liked
a present too (music)
(music)Happy birthday
Happy birthday (music)
(music)Happy birthday
Happy birthday (music)
(music)Happy birthday
Happy birthday (music)
(music)Happy birthday
Happy birthday (music)
[Sighs]
[Snoring Softly]
(music)Happy birthday
Happy birthday (music)
(music)Happy birthday
Happy birthday (music)
You swear to God,
you don't have it?
I don't know anything about it.
Jennifer Woods
gave me a sex test
during child development.
And I was supposed to
do it and pass it to you
in independent study.
[Sighing]
I'm totally screwed.
Did you put your name on it?
Hi. No, but it was
really embarrassing.
I had to name
who I'd do it with
if I ever did it.
Who'd you name?
Jake Ryan.
Jake Ryan? He doesn't
even know you exist.
Thank you. That's
a very nice thing to say.
I'm sorry.
But Jake Ryan?
He's a senior,
and he's taken.
I mean, really taken.
I know. It was
supposed to be my ideal.
He's ideal, for sure,
but forget it.
God, I hope whoever
got the note doesn't know
it was me who wrote it.
I'd shit twice and die.
Do you know
Samantha Baker?
Sophomore, right?
Yeah. What do
you think of her?
I don't.
Would you ever
go out with her?
Depends on how much
you paid me.
She's not ugly.
There's nothin'
there, man.
It's not ugly.
It's just... void.
You know what I mean?
There's somethin'
about her.
I do independent study
with her. I catch her
lookin' at me a lot.
It's kinda cool, the way
she's always lookin' at me.
Maybe she's retarded.
I'm bein' serious, okay?
She looks at me like
she's in love with me.
Jake,
she's a child.
So?
So what're you
gonna do with her?
She's obviously
too young
to party serious.
Maybe I'm interested
in more than a party.
Come on, Jake. You talk
like you're hard up.
You got Caroline.
Now she's a woman.
It's unbelievable.
I swear to God, Caroline Mulford
had to flunk about nine grades.
[Girl]
Truly makes me ill.
[Samantha]
She's perfect.
Practically
impossible to cut up.
She's supposedly real sweet.
Brother's deaf, and everybody
in the world worships her.
[Samantha]
And she's going with Jake.
Oh, I'm gonna kill myself.
My man.
(music)[Band Instruments
Practicing, Off-key]
[Kids Chattering]
I loathe the bus.
[Noise Subsides]
[Sighing]
There has to be a more
dignified mode of transportation.
I hope you get a car for
your birthday, and a license.
[Scoffs]
Let's not hold our breath.
[Space Guns Firing]
[Both Chuckle]
[Together]
Score... a direct hit.
[Together]
On second thought.
(music)[Off-key Instruments
Continue]
(music)[Kazoos Playing Brahms's
"Hungarian Dance No. 5']
(music)Hey (music)
[Driver]
Move it.!
Call me, okay?
You call me first.
Tell me what happened at home.
I can tell you
right now. Nothing.
Will you quit feeling sorry
for yourself? It's bad
for your complexion!
(music)["Theme from Dragnet"]
How's it goin'?
How's what going?
You know, things,
life, whatnot.
Life is