interested anymore.
Does that really matter, guy?
Yeah, it matters.
She's totally insensitive.
Look what she did
to my house.
She doesn't know shit
about love.
Only thing she cares
about is partying.
I want a serious girlfriend.
Somebody I can love,
that's gonna love me back.
Is that psycho?
[Spits]
That's beautiful, Jake.
I think a ton of guys
feel the same way as you do.
Really?
Yeah. It's just they don't...
They don't have the balls
to admit it.
You know? They're just...
They're wimps.
Samantha's, uh...
She's really special,
you know?
I'll make a deal with you.
Let me keep these. I'll
let you take Caroline home.
But you gotta make sure she
gets home. You can't leave her
in some parking lot somewhere.
Okay?
Jake, I'm only a freshman.
So? She's so blitzed, she
won't know the difference.
Jake, I don't have a car.
You can take mine.
Jake, I don't have a license.
I trust you.
Jake, I'd love to.
I can't. Want a pretzel?
You sure?
Positive.
[Grunts]
I got her.
You got her?
Yeah.
Is this, uh, your car,
Jake?
No, this is my dad's car.
You said you couldn't
drive a stick.
This is a mother...
This is a Rolls-Royce,
Jake.
So?
So! So.
I heard the grill alone
cost five grand on this.
Five grand!
I don't have five grand.
Then don't hit anything.
Ahh, don't
hit anything.
Do you want to do this
or not?
No.
[Snoring]
Who the hell?
Who does he...
[Groans]
Mm-hmm. Mmm.
Who's he?
That's me.
Who are you?
I'm him.
Oh.
Okay.
[Chuckles]
She's totally gone.
Have fun.
Thanks.
[Engine Starts]
Jake, is your dad
a big man, or...
About 6'4".
Very nice.
Ho.
[Brakes Screech]
Ohh.
Oh.
Ho.
[Brakes Screech]
Easy.
Easy.
##
[Screech]
[Screech]
[Man]
#Hey, sucker#
[Female Singers]
#What the hell's got into you#
[Dong Laughing]
#Hey, sucker##
[Snorting]
Oh, sexy girlfriend.
Banzai!
[Grunts]
[Cans Clatter]
[Can Clatters]
[Doors Slam]
Think they liked us?
Definitely.
##[Rock]
Whoo!
Go, darling geek!
Uh, could we turn
that music down?
I'm a first-time driver.
I need to concentrate.
[Horn Honks]
Excuse me!
Stop that.
[Laughing]
Looks like rain.
Better put the top up!
Will you stop that?
You can get us in a lot
of trouble doin' that!
This is a car!
[Brakes Squeal]
It hasn't got
Triple A on it.
Chugalug, Pooh bear.
[Laughing]
I can't believe
you're so popular,
acting like this.
[Bottle Crashing]
[Phone Ringing]
Relax!
Hello?
Oh, uh, I don't know.
I'll have to look.
Mr. Ryan, are you in here?
He's not... Mr. Ryan's
not in right now.
My Christmas present
to you!
Thank you.
No. Really.
Serious.
See? See?
##[Continues]
Thank you.
[Laughing]
Now we're both
on the pill!
[Spitting]
You gave me a
birth control pill?
You have any idea
what that'll do
to a guy my age?
I know exactly what it'll do
to a girl my age.
"Just climb in the car!"
Shit.
It makes it okay to be
super careless.
Wait, wait!
[Horn Honking]
Ha-ha!
Look, we're not going
any further until you
stop these childish antics.
Don't be such a poop.
Huh. On second thought.
I love you.
This is getting good.
##["Peter Gunn'"]
[Crash]
[Dog Barking]
Ted, what the hell
are you doing?
Are those humongous jocks
back?
[Headgear Beeping]
Do you have any film
in your camera?
What?
Take those ridiculous
things off.
[Beeping Stops]
Do you have any film
in your camera?
Sure.
Okay. Go get it
and bring it outside.
Okay? Right out front.
What for?
Look, just get it
and come on out front, okay?
U.F.O.?
It's better.
Extraterrestrial?
It's better! All right?
Just get it and come outside.
[Together]
Female extraterrestrial?
It's better than...
Shh!
Better than female
extraterrestrial?
How do you tell
if it's a female?
'Cause it's got tits.
What makes 'em different
than regular tits?
They got four.