don't we discuss this over dinner?
It's my birthday.
We're going to the Brown Derby.
Do join us, Detective Swayback.
- Streebek.
- Pep.
I don't think it's a good idea.
- Why not, Joe?
- Yeah, Joe, why not?
I've invited someone already
to join us, and you don't know her.
- Her?
- Her?
Joe! You have a date?
I'm so proud!
Well, it looks like
I have a date, too.
Granny Mundy, may I escort you
to Joe's car?
I'd be privileged,
Detective Startrek.
9:00 p.m. Exactly one night after
witnessing the satanic cult rally...
I escorted my grandmother to her
favourite restaurant, the Brown Derby.
There was someone I wanted her to meet,
and it wasn't Detective Streebek.
Sergeant Friday, your table is ready.
I took the liberty of pouring
the Dom Perignon.
What Dom Perignon?
I stopped and phoned in an order
in honour of Granny Mundy's birthday.
You'd want her to have
the most expensive kind, wouldn't you?
What a thoughtful gesture!
Don't you think so, Joe?
Yes, Granny.
It was very considerate of him.
Hello, Joe.
Guess I'm early.
I was kind of excited.
You sly minx!
I'd like you to meet my maternal
grandmother, Mrs. Grace Mundy.
Granny, this is
the virgin Connie Swail.
You're kidding?
Hi.
Well, allow me.
The place of honour for Granny.
- Thank you.
- Certainly.
And if I may, a toast.
To Granny Mundy.
May you live as long as you want
but never want as long as you live.
Hear! Hear!
Ahhh.
This is such a happy restaurant.
Commissioner Kirkpatrick,
how nice to see you again.
Reverend Whirley,
it's a privilege.
An aperitif, perhaps?
I once saw Alan Hale, Jr. In here.
Alan Hale, Jr! Wow!
"Gilligan, little buddy!"
Don't order anything more expensive than
the Cobb salad. That is an order.
Oh, my God!
- Connie?
- That's him.
That man with the collar.
The Reverend Whirley?
He's the one who kidnapped me
and threw me in that pit...
with that horrible snake.
I'll never forget his face
as long as I live.
You have to be sure about this.
How about very, very sure?
I'm positive, Joe.
That's him.
The face behind the mask.
The man who tried to kill me.
Would you testify to that under oath
in a court of law?
Wait a minute. Settle down.
Let's think about this.
That is Jonathan Whirley.
Head of the Moral Advance Movement
of America. He's a public hero.
- You can't just walk up to him...
- Streebek.
Vermin aren't allowed
inside restaurants.
I'll be enforcing
the public health code.
If you'll both excuse me...
I'm afraid
the second-highest duty calls.
Joe, he is sitting with the commissioner
and our captain.
Bust him now, tomorrow you'll
be mucking out stalls at Horse Patrol.
Thank you.
I am sorry.
Hold it there, Whirley. Police Officer.
You're under arrest.
I beg your pardon?
Is this some sort of feeble joke?
Oh, it's a knee-slapper, if you consider
Penal Codes 484207 A597 and 217...
theft, kidnapping, cruelty to animals,
attempted murder things to laugh about.
I don't know
what you're talking about.
My partner and I witnessed
that torchlight picnic you threw.
We're gonna put you where your kind
always ends up: In a 7-by-7 cage...
in some hundred-year-old penitentiary
with a wooden plank for a bed.
Sure, this city isn't perfect. We need
a smut-free life for all our citizens.
Cleaner streets, better schools,
a good hockey team.
But the difference between you and me is
you made the promise, I'm gonna keep it.
Our good reverend's an amazing
piece of work, isn't he, Jane?
- May I call you Jane?
- No.
Captain, Commissioner...
I demand an immediate explanation
for this outrageous behaviour.
It's him again.
Are you insane?
Reverend Whirley abducted that girl,
had his men throw her in a pit...
filled with polluted water
and a giant Bolivian jungle snake.
These accusations are preposterous!
I beg to differ. Ask him if he remembers
3,000 gallons of stolen...
trichlornitromethane and the
pseudo-halogenic compound cyanogen...
which,