Don't move.
It's right between your eyes.
Oh, my God.
Hey, there's the soda guy.
Hey, jackass!
Get me a diet Dr. Pepper!
All right!
Hey, hey, hey!
Oh, this is nuts!
I can't get across anywhere!
Well, none of us can!
We're trapped!
Hey!
Hey, everyone this way!
I think we can get out through here.
Oh, I don't know
if that's such a good idea.
Look! No one knows
how long this parade is gonna last!
They are a very festive people.
All I know is that it's Sunday night,
and I have got to unwind!
Now who's with me?
Father?
None of us saw the nylon flap.
That might mean something.
Oh, all right, all right!
All right! Come on. Come on.
Let's go. Let's go.
But it's dark!
Get in there!
Yes, uh, I'm interested in the apartment.
Yes! Come in, come in.
OK.
I'm Christine Nyhart.
Oh. Delicious to meet you.
Did the broker send you over?
Uh, yes, most likely, yes.
I'm, uh, H.E. Pennypacker.
I'm a wealthy industrialist and
philanthropist and, uh, a bicyclist.
Yes, I'm looking for a place
where I can settle down
with my, uh, peculiar habits,
and, uh, the women that I frequent with.
Mmm. Mombassa, hmm?
The asking price is $1.5 million.
Oh, I spend that much on after shave.
Yes, I buy and sell
men like myself every day.
Now, I assume that
there's a waterfall grotto?
No.
How about a bathroom?
It has 4.
Yes, and where would
the absolute nearest one be?
Just down the hall.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, don't worry.
We'll get you home to your husband real soon.
I'm not married.
Well, I, for one,
really respect that.
Oh, thank you.
Hey! Guess who's not married.
Is the boyfriend
still in the picture?
Come on, father, you can make it.
No, I can't.
I've got a bad hip. Go on without me.
No! I won't!
Leave me! You must.
All right. Take it easy.
All right, we can move faster
without Father O'Gimpy.
I heard that!
You know, I don't think I've ever seen a man
driving a Saab convertible.
Still haven't.
What seems to be the problem, officer?
They're for protection, Jerry.
Can you tell where I'm looking?
At me?
No.
Oh. It's back.
Bring it on, baby.
What if it gets in the side?
The side?
Yeah. Wouldn't it just bounce back and forth
between your cornea and the mirror,
faster and faster,
getting more and more intense,
until finally--
- All right!
Oh. It's in your eye now.
Hola, Jerry!
I'm into this Puerto Rican day!
The sights! The sounds!
The hot, spicy flavor of it all!
It's caliente, Jerry!
Kramer, the Mets
have got men on base!
Yeah, I know! I was watching the game.
You were watching? Where?
Oh, that was a strike!
Did you see that?!
Would you like to see
the rest of the apartment, Mister, um--
Eh... Varnsen.
Kel Varnsen.
Actually, this room intrigues me.
Why is it called the TV room?
Well, it's--
Balk? How was that a balk?
You have any snacks?
Mr. Varnsen,
if you like the apartment,
I should tell you I've also had
some interest from a wealthy industrialist.
Not Pennypacker!
You know him?
I wish I didn't.
Brace yourself, madam,
for an all-out bidding war.
But this time, advantage Varnsen!
Wait a second.
I think I see where that laser guy is.
No! Don't look! Don't look.
Oh, yeah, that's him.
OK. I'm gonna sneak up on him.
Now the hunted becomes the hunter.
We should be able
to get across right through here!
It's a dead end!
Oh, no! I thought--
You thought?
We're gonna die in the dark!
I knew it! I knew it!
We're gonna die!
Get a hold of yourself!
Oh, come on!
Sorry. Somebody... help us!
ЎMira, mira! ЎStacy Keach!
We're down here! Help!
There's people down there!
Hold on!
Let us out.
There's an unmarried
pregnant woman down here.
Don't judge me!
Help us up
so we can cross the street?
Nah, nah, You can't cross here.
There's a parade.
But we've come so far.
We just want to unwind.
Hey, what can I tell ya?
Wanna make out some more?
Oh, God! Let us out!
Got it!
That wasn't a laser pen.
No. It's just a pen.
Oh, that's funny