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- 01-09

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for a rodeo.
Well, Jerry, I been thinking.
I've gotten as far as I can go
with George Costanza.
Is this the suicide talk
or the nickname talk?
The nickname.
George. What is that?
It's nothing.
It's got no snap, no zip.
I need a nickname
that makes people light up.
You mean like...
Liza!
But I was thinking...
T-bone.
But there's no "T" in your name.
What about G-bone?
There's no G-bone.
There's a G-spot.
That's a myth.
T-bone, the ladies
are gonna love ya.
Why did they hire you for a rodeo?
They heard I opened
for Kenny Rogers once.
Didn't he throw you off a bus
in the middle of Alabama?
Oh, I had that coming to me.
You know, Kenny Rogers has a--
Why did you get a maid?
You don't have to whisper.
She knows she's a maid.
Where did you get her?
I hired her from a service!
All done.
Thank you. Nice job.
Is this mine?
Yeah.
What?
Come on, Jerry.
You didn't notice?
Notice what?
She's not really even a maid.
Oh.
She wants to be an actress.
Or a, uh, model...
or a dancer...
or a... news woman.
- News woman, uh-huh.
Hey.
Well, bad news, boys.
My life is over.
My girlfriend's moving away.
You have a girlfriend?
Jerry, where have you been?
At a rodeo.
Where's she moving?
Downtown.
Downtown New York?
Yeah. I don't know if I can handle
one of these long-distance relationships.
It's like 10 minutes by subway.
I don't know.
Well, you've got a maid.
It's a whole different world downtown.
Different Gap, different Tower Records--
And she's a 646.
What? What is that?
That's the new area code.
They've run out of 212s,
so all the new numbers are 646.
I was a 718 when I first moved here.
I cried every night.
Listen. Heads up, Elaine.
I'm gonna have to stop by later
and pick up a fax.
At work?
No. At your apartment.
I don't have a fax machine.
Here we go.
Well, now what are we gonna do?
See? This is why you should get
a fax and a Xerox.
And a dead bolt.
Are you sure you don't have one?
Because there's a lot of stuff
in my apartment I've never seen.
Then maybe you have a fax machine.
You just blew my mind.
Let's order lunch.
Mary, I will have a chef's salad.
Turkey sandwich.
T-bone steak.
For lunch?
Well, I am just a T-bone kinda guy.
Love that T-bone.
In fact, you might as well call me--
That sounds good.
I'll have one, too.
Watkins, you're having a T-bone?
I love 'em.
Well, then we should call you T-bone.
Uh, no. No, we shouldn't.
T-bone!
T-bone! T-bone! T-bone!
T-bone! T-bone!
Hello?
What?
You have 57 messages.
Message one...
Message two...
Message three...
Hey, it's George. Listen, I-
Message four...
Kramer!
Hello?
Well Cindy, the place looks great.
Thanks Jerry.
Gotta run.
Ok, I'll see ya.
Hi, Elaine.
All right!
Fooling around with your maid.
That is a wise decision.
Elaine, do you think I would go
willy-nilly into a situation
so obviously fraught with
potential complications?
You are paying a woman to
come to your house and sleep with you.
No. I pay her to clean.
The rest is--
What? A health plan?
I was going to say,
"Being a good host."
But the point is,
we have our personal relationship,
and we have our work relationship.
They're separate and, I think,
somewhat sophisticated.
So you consider this a relationship?
Yes, I do.
Oh. Have you been out?
Yes, we have.
Where did you go?
The store.
To get what?
Stuff.
Cleaning supplies?
And gum.
There's nothing more sophisticated than
diddling the maid and then chewing some gum.
She's not a maid.
She might be a news woman!
Hey.
Well, I just saw Madeline off.
Yeah. She's in a cab and--
on her way.
I miss her already.
Hey, Kramer--
What was it you were having
faxed to my house every 30 seconds?
Well, I signed up for
a food delivery service.
"Now We're Cooking".
That's a play on words.
You know, they're faxing me
the menus from some restaurants.
Which ones?
Well, all of them.
It's the deluxe package.
So this is never gonna
 -  01-09  -  01-09

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