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/ - 01-09

- 01-09

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Oh man.
Isn't that Zach?
Yeah.
Aren't you upset?
Yes.
Oh, man! Oh!
Alright, listen up.
Now, you three have been hand-picked
out of possibly dozens that applied.
Now, what we're looking for are
motivated, hard-working, homeless gentlemen
like yourselves to pull rickshaws.
Now, I don't care where you're from,
or how you got here,
or what happened to your homes.
But you will have to be physically fit.
The government!
Because to pull rickshaws
means more than just strong legs.
You're also going to need
a well-toned upper body.
Or a shirt...
Alright, who's first?
Hey
- Name, please.
Rusty.
Rusty.
You know, I once knew a horse
named Rusty. No offence.
Alright, now take it down to
the end of the block.
Make a controlled turn,
and bring her back.
Let's see what you've got!
Ok? Ready, and go!
Giddy up!
Good form.
Alright, pace yourself,
'cause you're gonna have to do this
all day for very little money.
Hey, what's he doin'?
I think he stealing our rickshaw!
Well, then, he's out!
I'll take the job.
Potato salad!
Yes, I, uh, I need to
return this book.
I'm sorry, we can't
take this book back.
Why not?
It's been flagged.
Flagged?
It's been in the bathroom.
It says that on the computer?
Please take it home.
We don't want it near the other books.
Well, you just lost
a lot of business!
Because I love to read!
I don't believe this!
Excuse me--
I wonder if you could do me a favor?
My uncle's having
a little problem with shoplifting...
Mm-hmm. Where's your uncle?
He's over there in the overcoat.
If you could just
kind of put a scare into him...
You know, set him straight...
We have a 51-50 in paperbacks.
All units respond.
"51-50"?
That - that's just a scare, right?
Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to
stand out of the way and let us handle this.
Swarm! Swarm!
What?
I'm an old man! I'm confused!
You're under arrest.
I just wanted you to scare him.
Jerry, you ratted me out?
Hello?
Hello.
Mom, I didn't rat out Uncle Leo.
I just wanted the guard to scare him straight.
Jerry, he won't last a day in prison.
Prison?
I'm sure it's just a fine.
He's got priors.
Prior convictions? Leo?
It was a crime of passion.
Leave it alone.
Besides, it's not stealing
if it's something you need.
What does that mean?
Nobody pays for everyting.
You're stealing too?
What are you stealing?
Nothing.
Well, they wear out so quick.
Mom, you too?
Sometimes your father forgets,
so I have to steal them.
Alright, I'll talk to you later.
Well, the rickshaw's gone.
We strapped it to a homeless guy
and he--
he bolted.
85% of all homeless rickshaw businesses
fail within the first three months.
See, we should've gotten
some collateral from him.
Like his bag of cans, or...
his other bag of cans.
We gotta find that rickshaw.
You check the sewers and dumpsters.
I'll hit the soup kitchens,
bakeries, and smorgasbords.
To the Idiotmobile!
So, even though you're not really going out
with this guy, he's cheating on you?
That is correct.
But here's the beauty part:
Now I stand up for myself by telling everybody
I'm dumping his sorry ass,
and I'm the office--
Tina Turner?
Alright.
Well, I've been to every Brentano's.
This thing's flagged
in every database in town!
Is it so horrible
to have to keep a book?
I don't understand what the big deal is.
They let you try on pants.
Not underpants.
Hey, that's your Uncle Leo.
Uncle Leo. Hello!
Jerry.
Uncle Leo, I'm sorry.
I didn't know about your... past.
You mean my crime of passion?
If anyone betrays me, I never forget!
Uncle Leo, wait! Hello?
French impressionism.
Oh, I love this.
Now, what is the problem with this book?
Nothing.
How much do you want for it?
You know, I could let it go for...
say, $125.
Leo's furious.
What is that doing on the table?
Jerry, simmer down.
I'm not eating anything
in the vicinity of that book.
What is wrong with this book?
Simmer!
That book has been on a wild
 -  01-09  -  01-09

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