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- 01-09

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Well, that oughta keep you busy
for a couple of days, huh?
So, Elaine--
are you going to dance this year?
All over your face!
If you do dance,
the cooks want to know--
so they can be brought out of the kitchen.
They missed it last year.
My friends, a toast.
As the wooly-haired Melanesians
of Papua-New Guinea once said:
All right!
Who's dancing?
No one?
Alright, I'll just have to
get things started.
Hi, I'm Zach.
Hi, I'm miserable.
Excuse me, Sir.
What are you doing?
I'm all set.
Did you take that book
with you into the bathroom?
What do you want to hear?
They made me buy it!
A hundred bucks this thing cost me.
How dare they?
If it wasn't for the toilet,
there would be no books.
Yeah. I understand Gutenberg used to
spend a fair amount of time in there.
They're selling coffee, bran muffins--
you're surrounded by reading material.
It's entrapment!
"French Impressionist Paintings"?
I find the soothing pastorial images
very conduc-
Thank you very much.
I'm gonna go back there later and return it
when there's different people working.
You want to catch a movie?
I can't.
I'm meeting Uncle Leo.
I saw him shoplifting at the bookstore.
Alright, Leo!
Stickin' it to the man!
Sleeping in the car again?
Cocktail flu.
Oh, right.
The big party.
You, uh--
didn't dance again, did you?
No, I found a better way
to humiliate myself.
There was this guy,
and we had a few too many...
You went home with him?
We made out at the table
like our plane was going down!
Ah, the drunken make-out.
An office classic.
Did you end up xeroxing anything?
Do you know how embarrassing this is
to someone in my position?
What's your position?
I am an associate.
Hey, me too.
Yeah, me too.
Oh God. Why did I do this?
Now I'm the office skank.
Well, unless you tell everybody
you're dating.
Ohh... right.
Cause if we're dating,
what everyone saw was just
a beautiful moment between two lovers.
As opposed to a spirited bout
of Skanko-Roman wrestling.
Oh, bravo.
Oh, hey. Can I fix you fellas
some drinks and sandwiches?
No, we've already eaten.
But you can clear
some of this stuff out of the way.
Jerry, check this out.
Remember my idea about
rickshaws in New York?
Well, we're gonna make it happen!
No, you're not.
Newman, he knows a guy
in the Hong Kong post office...
No, he doesn't.
He's shipping us a rickshaw.
It can't miss!
Yes, it can.
We'll start out with one,
and they when it catches on,
we're gonna have a whole fleet!
It's the romance of the Hansom cab
without the guilt or dander of the equine.
So, who's gonna pull this thing?
Well, I just assumed
that you would.
Yeah, but I thought--
My, isn't this an awkward moment?
What about the homeless?
Can't we worry about them later?
To pull the rickshaw.
They do have
an intimate knowledge of the street.
They're always walkin' around the city.
Why not just strap something to them?
Now, that's the first sensible idea
I've heard all day.
Jerry, hello!
So, Leo, how's everything?
You doin' okay?
I still have the ringing in the ears.
Sounds like the phone.
Yeah, yeah. But what about money?
Are you strapped?
Do you need a little?
Are you kidding?
I should be loaning you money!
But I'm not.
Leo, I saw you
in Brentano's yesterday.
Why didn't you say hello?
Because you were too busy
stealing a book.
You still say hello.
Leo, I saw you steal.
Oh, they don't care.
We all do it.
Who, criminals?
Senior citizens.
No big deal.
You could get arrested.
Arrested? Come on!
I'm an old man. I'm confused!
I thought I paid for it.
What's my name?
Can you take me home?
Alright, alright, Mr. Goody Two-Shoes.
You made your point.
Thank you.
Will somebody answer that damn phone?
Of course Zach and I
have been dating.
What did you think,
I was the office skank?
"Well"? We've been
dating for three months.
Between you and me, and...
anyone else you want to tell.
 -  01-09  -  01-09

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