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- 01-09

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rule the people,
one must walk among them.
This is the home stretch.
Tomorrow's the election!
Right. Yeah.
The polls close after dinner,
3 o'clock.
But then when we win,
the celebration goes all night
until the break of 8pm.
You know, you can put that whole schedule
right in your daily planner.
Daily what?
Have you read
today's Boca Breeze?
Hey, look at that.
Picture of me, huh?
Candidate Cosmo Kramer
caught barefoot in clubhouse.
Barefoot in the clubhouse?
Kramer!
Don't you realize
this is against the rules?
Well, I couldn't find my shoes.
Kramer, these people
work and wait their whole lives
to move down here,
sit in the heat,
pretend it's not hot,
and enforce these rules.
Who wants hot chocolate?
Oh, yeah!
Me.
This is a huge scandal!
We need damage control.
All right, look.
People seem to like
those tip calculators, huh?
Wizards!
Yeah, well, how 'bout if we give one out
to every member on the condo board.
Kramer...
There are twenty people on the board.
Thank God you can get that deal.
Payoffs.
Now we're playing politics.
All right,
what do we do next, Morty, huh?
Wiretaps, slush funds?
First, I need a nap.
Oh, I'll get your electric blanket!
Kramer, I can't get that many Wizards.
Well, what about your deal, huh?
I didn't have a deal!
They're two hundred dollars a pop.
What do I do?
Well, don't worry about it.
I know a guy.
Down here?
Yeah, Bob Saccamano's father.
And that leads
into the master bedroom.
Tell us more.
You want to hear more?
The master bedroom
opens into the solarium.
Another solarium?
Yes, two solariums.
Quite a find.
And I have horses, too.
What are their names?
Snoopy and Prickly Pete.
Should I keep driving?
Oh, look, an antique stand.
Pull over.
We'll buy you a housewarming gift.
Housewarming gift.
All right,
we're taking it up a notch!
Here you go.
Long day?
Yeah, I just worked a triple shift.
I hear ya, Sister.
Sister?
- Yeah.
It's OK.
My boyfriend's black.
Here he is.
See?
Hi, Elaine.
- Hey.
He's black?
Yeah.
I'm black?
Aren't you?
I'll give you a couple minutes
to decide.
What are you talking about?
You're black.
You said we were an interracial couple.
We are.
Because you're Hispanic.
I am?
Aren't you?
No.
Why would you think that?
Your name's Benes.
Your hair.
And you kept taking me
to those Spanish restaurants.
That's because
I thought you were black.
Why would you take me to a
Spanish restaurant because I'm black?
I don't think we should
be talking about this.
So, what are you?
I'm white.
So, we're just a
couple of white people?
I guess.
Oh.
Yeah.
So do you want to go to the Gap?
Sure.
Oh, well...
I handed out all the Wizards.
Polls close in one hour.
I think we've got this baby
all sewn up, huh?
Oh, uh, there was an extra one.
Norman Burgerman, he won't be
leaving any tips where he is.
Congratulations, Mr. President.
Congratulations, Mr. Puppetmaster.
Hey, Morty, what's wrong with
these tip calculators?
What are you talking about?
It's overtipping.
I just left five bucks for a BLT.
Let me see that.
This isn't a Wizard,
it's a Willard.
A Willard?
Saccamano senior screwed me!
Mine doesn't have a seven!
I'm ruined!
Jerry, why didn't you get them Wizards?
Because a real Wizard's $200!
You didn't have a deal?
No deal.
Not hot.
Morty, you, and Kramer,
you're finished.
What?
Everyone vote for
the guy in the wheelchair!
Let's go!
The people have spoken.
Well, that's it for me.
I'm heading back to New York.
Dad, I'm sorry.
You should be!
How could you spend $200
on a tip calculator?
It does other things!
Where are we, George?
Almost there.
Well, this is the end of Long Island.
Where's your house?
We, uh, we go on foot from here.
All right.
There's no house!
It's a lie!
There's no solarium.
There's no Prickly Pete.
There's no other solarium.
We know.
Then, why?
Why did you make me drive
all the way out here?
Why didn't you say
 -  01-09  -  01-09

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