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- 01-09

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try your blow-off number
and see if he's called it?
That's a good idea.
Yeah, Go!
Wha.. really? Yeah, ok. Yeah! Bye.
Great news! Yeah, the strike has been settled.
I'm going back to work.
What strike?
Yeah, H&H Bagels. That's where I worked.
You?
Worked?
Bagels?
Yeah. Look, see. I still have my business card.
Yeah, we've been on strike for 12 years.
Oh, I remember seeing those guys picketing out there,
but I haven't seen them in a long time.
Yeah, well, H&H wouldn't let us
use their bath room while we were picketing.
It put a cramp on our solidarity.
What were your... demands?
Yeah, $5.35 an hour.
And that's what they're paying now.
I believe that's the new minimum wage.
Now you know who to thank for that!
Alright, I've got to go.
Why didn't you ever mention this?
Jerry, I didn't want you to know
I was out of work. It's embarrassing!
All right, everybody! I'm back!
Who are you?
Cosmo Kramer? Strike's over.
Oh yeah! Kramer.
Huh.. wha-
Didn't any of the other guys come back?
No, I'm sure they all got other jobs
like ten years ago.
Man.
Makes you wonder what it was all for.
I could use someone for the holidays...
Alright!
Toss me an apron, let's bagel!
What are those?
Those are raisin bagels.
I never thought I'd live to see that..
So, anyway, I've been giving out
your phone number as my standard fake.
So. You're Elaine Benes.
We've been getting calls for you for 5 years.
So, listen, when this guy calls,
if you could just give him my real number..
Hey, Charlie! Guess who's here.
Elaine Benes.
Elaine Benes?!
You make a lot of man friends.
You know who's a man?
Charlie here, he's a man.
You know who else?
Me. I'm a man.
I'm a man.
Ohh.. my..
I'll have this best guy call your real number.
You just, uh, give it to me.
And that way, I'll have it.
My number? Ohh..
Okay.. Uh, well, there you go.
And, uh, tell you what...
Put a sawbuck on Captain Nemo
in the third at Belmont.
Hey, Jerry.
- Hey, Tim.
What's up?
Actually, I'm having dinner
with a girl I met at your party.
Mazel Tov.
Jerry.. hi.
Gwen?
Yeah.
Really?
- Yeah!
Come on, our table is ready.
So, attractive one day -
not attractive the next?
Have you come across this?
Yes, I am familiar with this syndrome.
She's a two-face.
Like the Batman villain?
If that helps you..
So, if I ask her out again,
I don't know who's showing up.
The good, the bad, or the ugly.
Clint Eastwood!
Yeah.
Hey, check this out.
I gotta give out Christmas presents
to everyone down at Kruger, so I'm pulling a Whatley.
"A donation has been made in your name
to the Human Fund." - What is that?
Made it up.
"The Human Fund.
Money for people."
What do you think?
It has a certain understated stupidity.
The Outlaw of Josey Whales!
Yeah.
Ah, gentlemen.. bagels on the house!
How was your first day?
Oh, fantastic!
It felt so good
to get my hands back in that dough.
Your hands were in the dough?
No, I didn't make these bagels.
Yeah, they're day-olds.
The homeless won't even touch them.
Oh, we try to fool them
by putting a few fresh ones on top,
but they dig.. they, they test.
Alright. Uh, well, I'm out of here.
Happy Festivus!
What's Festivus?
When George was growing up...
- No!
His father..
- Stop it! It's nothing.
It's a stupid holiday my father invented.
It doesn't exist!
Happy Festivus, Georgie.
Frank invented a holiday?
He's so prolific!
Kramer, listen,
I got a little phone relay going.
So, if a guy calls H&H
and he's looking for me, you take a message.
You're still trying to get that free sub?
Hey! I have spent a lot of time,
and I have eaten a lot of crap
to get to where I am today.
And I am not throwing it all away now.
Is there a captain's hat involved in this?
Maybe.
Kramer, I got your message.
I haven't celebrated Festivus in years!
What is your interest?
Well, just tell me everything, huh?
Many Christmases ago,
I went to buy a doll for my son.
I reach for the last one
 -  01-09  -  01-09

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