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- 01-09

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In my office, in the hallway.
Even in the men's room!
Shame on you, Elaine!
No, no, Mr Peterman,
that wasn't me!
That reminds me of
the Hatian Voodoo rattle torture!
You haven't gone over to their side have you?
No, Mr Peterman.
Because, if I hear one more rattle -
just one -
you're out on your can.
And if you are undead -
I'll find out about that too.
Lou! In here!
We have to talk.
Oh, right.
No, stop it!
Bad voodoo.
You gotta stop using these.
Because they're turning your teeth green?
I only buy the white ones.
Okay ...
Well, then your teeth are green
for a different reason.
Just stop carrying these, okay?
Just use mouth wash.
I can't. It burns my cankers.
Right, right, cankers.
Um, I got it! Chew gum!
I hate gum.
The only gum I ever liked
came with the Mickey Mouse gumball machine.
They stopped making that 20 years ago.
Well, stinky, this is your lucky day.
Okay. A little later,
we're gonna be talking with animal expert Jim Fowler.
Where are the cameras?
But first, we're talking with...
Okay, Jerry, uh, you drugged a woman
in order to play with her toy collection.
How do you feel about that?
It was great!
I've done it a few more time since then.
And she doesn't know anything about this?
No, not a thing.
Well, Jerry,
we have a little surprise for you!
Come on out, Celia!
What kind of a sick twisted creep are you?
What is this?
What is she doing here?
It's the new format.
Scandals and Animals.
If you think you can drug me and play with my toys,
you got another thing coming, buddy!
Go girl!
Well, what kind of woman
drinks an entire box of wine?
Mister Fowler, I have a squirrel here
that is a miracle of modern science!
George, I told you we're booked!
Hawks and squirrels don't get along together.
Another interesting confrontation.
This could be spicy.
Yeah, George, bring him over.
No, you idiot!
Hawks eat squirrels!
Are we getting this?
So the whole set was destroyed?
Well, the squirrel kept scurrying
and the hawk kept clawing.
Well, at least we know
the prosthetic squirrel hips work.
Sorry about the set.
I tell you, it was a grind
having to fill 10 hours a day.
I'm not sure I was ready
to have my own talk show set.
I got the nut bread, George.
Let's go.
So the squirrel's gonna make it?
Yeah, he's in my bed.
I'm sleeping on the couch.
On the couch?
So you're...
Still getting nothing!
Go ahead, pigeons.
Laugh it up.
I'm getting in my car now,
and the last I heard...
we have no deal!
I'm glad you called, Elaine.
I really needed to talk to someone.
Hey, I dated Jerry too.
I know what a monster he can be.
More wine and turkey?
Who's he?
Oh, he's nobody.
Hey, listen,
let me top that off for you.HEY!
Look, this is crazy,
I can't go on like this.
I need some space.
Does that mean I have to go too?
You don't think she's just talking to me?
Hey, shut up.
You shut up.
I hate this.
You'll get used to it.
It's like a grubby scrub.
No, I don't want this anymore.
We'll come to work with you.
And on your dates.
And shopping.
And to the bathroom.
I can't breath...I'm sorry...
You're killing me!
Turn your alarm off!
Your background is impressive George but
how does it apply to what we do here,
at Kruger Industrial Smoothing?
Well, at the Yankees it was all about smoothing things over,
you know,
chiseling away, grinding down.
In fact we used to call it 'the grind'.
It says here that you worked
at Play Now for four days?
That should be 14, let me just.
George, I have to honest.
I could go either way with you...
But what the hell,
we need someone, huh?
You won't regret this, sir.
I don't care.
Let's find you an office.
and then when I saw the photo
I remembered where I'd seen him:
the boom box incident.
the boom box incident?
Summer of '89 I'm at the beach.
This family sits up next to me.
I go into the surfs,
and when I
 -  01-09  -  01-09

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