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/ - 01-09

- 01-09

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not handicapped.
I'm sorry. Differently, uh, advantaged.
Yeah, I didn't mean that.
Of course you will have your own private,
fully equipped bathroom.
When do I start?
Whenever you feel
that you're able.
Um, you need a hand here.
Yeah, what the hell.
You got the job?
Jerry, it's fantastic.
I love the people over there.
hey treat me sogreat.
You know they think I'm handicapped,
they gave me this incredible
office, a great view.
Hold on, they think
you're handicapped?
Yeah, yeah, well,
because of the cane.
You should see the bathroom
they gave me!
How can you do this?
Jerry, let's face it,
I've always been handicapped.
I'm just now getting
the recognition for it.
Name one thing I have that puts me in a
position of advantage. Huh?
There was a guy that worked
at the Yankees-- no arms!
He got more work done than
I did, made more money,
had a wife, a family, drove
a better car than I did.
He drove a car
with no arms?
Alright I made up the part about the car,
but the rest is true.
He hated me anyway!
Do you know how hard it's getting
just to tell people I know you?
I love that bathroom.
It's got that high, high toilet.
I feel like a gargoyle perched
on the ledge of a building.
They hooked me up.
What's with all the butter?
I'm shaving with it, and you know
what I discovered?
You can eat it?
No, my face feels so good,
I'm gonna use it all over my body.
Oh my god, it's Bania and Jenna.
The tooth brush
in the toilet bowl.
Hey Jerry, this is Jenna.
Pretty good lookin' huh?
Jerry's the guy that I dated
right before you.
Oh. This is awkward.
Don't worry, Kenny.
After dating Jerry, you're a pleasure.
I don't believe this.
You miss her, don't you?
No! He's riding my coattails again.
He's getting everything off me,
first laughs now ladies.
You miss her.
You know I think ultimately,
I'm upset with myself.
I knew what I was getting into,
she's a bitter, unstable person.
I   mean the sex was good.
I'm sure it was fine for her.
I need more.
Huh. You believing this?
Excuse me, I was sleeping.
You missed quite a performance.
That's my apple juice.
Someone's cooking.
Hello, Jerry.
Hello, Newman.
You know, old friend,
sometimes I ponder this silly gulf
between us and I say, "Why?"
Are we really so different. For what is--
I'm not the one doing the cooking,
Damn you Seinfeld.
You useless pustule.
Um, somebody's got something
on the griddle. maybe it's Kramer.
No, he's up on the roof getting
some sun with the butter
Oh no!
-Fimty kroner.
You know my last boyfriend, he had
a real kroner comprehension problem.
No what I mean?
A real cement head.
David, you are so funny.
Yeah, I know.
What are you doing?
It's a long flight, Elaine.
I had to get on with my life.
By making time with some floozy
across the aisle?
Yeah, that's right.
Well, what's going on over there with you
and, uh, vegetable lasagna?
This guy? He's an idiot.
I can here you.
Well, she doesn't mean
anything to me either.
If it were up to me, we'd
still be together.
Well maybe I feel
the same way.
Ok, so now what?
Let's make out.
Oh, man. I think I cooked myself.
Look at your skin.
Stick a fork in me, Jerry. I'm done.
I'm fried.
Technically, you're sauted.
So, what are you doing for that?
Well, I just gotta keep my skin
moist so I don't dry out.
Is that what the doctor said?
No, I read an article in
Bon Appetite magazine.
Hmm. Game hen?
Kind of. Nice limp, you're bringing
your work home with you?
No, I fake limp on my right.
This is a real limp because
I sprained my ankle.
What happened?
Well, I was buttering myself up
for a nice shave
Oh no, not you too?
I must have dripped some
on the floor and I slipped and...
You know what's good for that?
Hello? Yeah, this is
Jerry Seinfeld.
What? No. No! No! No!! No!!!
Thank you.
I don't believe this.
They've added Bania to the
network showcase
and he's going
 -  01-09  -  01-09


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