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- 01-09

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think he may have been a
comedian I worked with one time.
Wait a minute, what is this?
Nobody beats me, because I'm the Wiz!
I'm the Wiz!
That is the guy!
Elaine's in love with the Wiz guy?
No, she thinks she's in
love with him. But she's
just remembering this old commercial.
That's pretty pathetic.
I know. They're not even related.
I'm gonna get going.
Hey, have fun at the... family reunion.
So, what do you know
about this Jack fellow?
Isn't he the best?
Yeah, nobody beats him.
What kind of work does he do?
Oh, right now he's a fact
checker for New York Magazine.
It's not much, but it has
a certain type of quiet dignity.
Right, quiet dignity. As opposed to, say,
this?
Nobody beats me, because I'm the Wiz! I'm the Wiz!
Oh no!
Hello? Yeah, the van is still for sale. Sure,
come on buy.
Yeah, I called about the van.
Some more merlot?
Yeah, thanks.
Sure. You know, Rhisa.
I've always found you... very attractive.
What?
I know it may sound shocking.
But, I just can't stop myself from...
wanting you.
You want to borrow money, right?
No, no. I-I just want us to be... together.
All right.
All right?
Let's go for it.
Well... we could dance around it a little first.
Nah. Let's be bad, George.
Let's be really... bad.
So, how come you're selling it?
You know why I'm
selling it. I hate it.
How many miles?
Two.
City or highway?
Look, do you really want
to buy this thing, or what?
Hey, hey. Take it
easy. I'm not gonna be
pressured. I'll walk away right now.
Is this thing bent?
I'm not paying for that.
All right, just get out of here.
All right, look. I'm going to be honest.
I'm very interested in the
van.
OK, fine. "What do I have to do to put you
in this van today?"
Well, I don't really have any money.
But it says right here,
"interesting trades considered".
You put that in!
And I'm glad I did. Here.
You want to trade me an undershirt?
No, I want to trade you screen
legend Anthony Quinn's undershirt.
He took this off to do sit-ups
in the park and I nabbed it.
That's disgusting.
Well, it's my final offer.
You dumped me for some
idiotic TV pitchman.
Look, I'm sorry, Puddy.
It-it was a mistake.
So, let's just put it behind us,
and we can continue like
this never happened.
Gee, I don't know. What
if we're out somewhere
and you see the Maytag  repairman.
You're not taking me back?
That's right.
He's not idiotic. He's the Wiz.
And nobody beats him. Nobody...
Here you go. Mail is evil. Pass it
on. Hey, mail blows.
Fax it to a friend.
Why does this dummy have
a bucket on its head?
Because we're blind to their tyranny.
Then shouldn't you
be wearing the bucket?
Yeah. Move along, Betty.
Is this, uh, Jerry Seinfeld's van?
Well, not anymore. He traded it
to me for some Hollywood memorabilia.
I'm, uh, I'm so stupid.
What?
I'm so stupid. Uh, excuse me. I'm sorry.
Yeah, nice to meet you.
She's into it?
She's leaving me dirty messages
on my answering machine.
So have your parents
found out about it?
She wants to keep it quiet.
She wants to keep it
quiet. She... thinks we have
a real future  together.
Brave new world, alright.
Hey, you guys.
Hey, how's the anti-mail campaign going?
Oh, it's fantastic. We were out in front
of the post office today,
and not one person went in.
It's Sunday.
Why is the mailman wearing a bucket?
Huh?
Well, it symbolizes our persecution.
Then... shouldn't you
be wearing the bucket.
Hey, I want my van keys back.
Oh, well. I, uh, thought we made
a deal for Quinn's t-shirt.
Are you insane? Give 'em to me.
No, I can't, I can't. See, I
told Frank he could borrow it.
Yeah, he wants to move some of
George's stuff into storage.
Wait a minute? He's picking up the van tonight?
This is perfect.
I'll drive Rhisa to someplace
romantic. Then when my father slides
the door open, I'm in the van
kissing his brother's daughter.
Oh, listen, Jerry. One
of your friends came by
and he was very upset
that I had
 -  01-09  -  01-09

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