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Самолётом, поездом и автомобилем

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These are very special earrings.
These were originally handcrafted
for the grand wizard of China
in the fourth century.
These aren't the originals
but they are very good replicas.
They're $5 a pair, two for $7.
# Spring over the ground
like a hunting hound
# For this is Thanksgiving day #
(Ringing tone)
I'm Marti Page, and I'm thankful my
dad's coming home for Thanksgiving.
(Ringing tone)
(Del) You know something?
It makes you look older, too.
Not just a little bit.
You could pass for 18 or 19.
Did you call the wife?
(Sighs) No one was home.
Probably at my daughter's
Thanksgiving Pageant.
Ohh. You missed it?
I'm sorry. Those...
those are the precious moments, too.
They don't come back again.
- I spend too much time away.
- I haven't been home in years.
What, seriously?
No, it's a figure of speech.
I'm on the road so much, you know.
Oh, I called a friend at Eastern
Airlines. It doesn't look good.
I know. I called all the airlines.
Well, at least we're sitting on over
100 beans from my brilliant idea.
You're a terrific salesman.
You know, uh, I've been thinking,
that, uh...
when we put our heads together,
we really...
We've really gotten nowhere.
And, uh...
I think I'm holding you up.
Oh, don't say that about yourself.
That's not true, Neal.
No, I think we'll get
to where we're going a lot faster
if, uh... we were alone.
OK?
OK. I see.
I think I'll just take care of this
and get going.
I appreciate that.
It's harder for two people to travel.
- Sure it is.
- You've got reservations...
- I know.
- Thanks for the meal.
That's all right.
And I owe you some of this, too.
No, no, no, no.
- This is your cut.
- Del, I told you...
Take the money.
Buy your kids a chocolate turkey.
I'm just gonna leave it there.
Then leave it. If you want to, fine.
I'm done, OK?
I've got to get going,
so if you'll excuse me,
I got things to do, uh... so, uh...
Good luck,
and I hope you get home soon.
- I'll see you.
- Yeah, sure you will.
(Man) It's a white Lincoln Town Car.
Space V-5.
V-5... V-5.
V-5.
Hey!
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey! Hey! Hey!
The car's not there!
I need a ride back!
Oh! Ah... You...!
God damn it, God damn it, God...
'You're messir with the wrong guy! '
Aah!
Whoo!
'You're messir with the wrong guy! '
(Laughing) Oh, Jean Marie,
you're a stitch.
No. Mom's gonna do the turkey.
Yeah. Dad wants Ambrosia,
so I guess we'll get marshmallows.
I'll do the crescent rolls
and you do the cranberries.
You know I can't cook.
- Ahem.
- Yeah.
I'll see you tomorrow, then.
Gobble gobble. (lmitates turkey)
Ohh... bye-bye.
Welcome to Marathon.
May I help you?
Yes.
How may I help you?
You can start by wiping
that fucking dumb-ass smile
off your rosy fucking cheeks.
Then you can give me
a fucking automobile.
A fucking Datsun, a fucking Toyota,
a fucking Mustang, a fucking Buick.
I don't care for the way
you're speaking to me.
I don't care for the way your company
left me in the middle of nowhere
with fucking keys to a fucking car
that isn't fucking there.
And I really didn't care to fucking
walk down a fucking highway
and across a fucking runway
to get back here to have you
smile in my fucking face.
I want a fucking car
right fucking now.
May I see your rental agreement?
I threw it away.
Oh, boy.
- Oh, boy, what?
- You're fucked.
'You're messir with the wrong guy! '
OK, 86, wake up.
You're gonna block the line.
- Yeah, where you going?
- Chicago.
- Chicago?
- Chicago.
You know you're in St Louis?
Yes, I do.
Try the airlines, they're faster
and you get a free meal.
If I wanted a joke
I'd watch you take a leak.
Are you gonna stand there
like a slab of meat with mittens?
What are you doing? I almost
crushed your head like a melon.
Del?
- Get your car out of here!
- Just a minute, OK?
Get it out of here!
What is your problem?
You insensitive asshole!
Can't you see we've got
an injured man here?
Now, I'll move my car
Самолётом, поездом и автомобилем Самолётом, поездом и автомобилем

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