really great
the other night.
It's the first time I've ever
seen anyone actually be brave.
I've been a lot braver
since then.
This time I want you to do it, Dave.
I want you to cut the thing off!
I'm tired of having a magnificent,
fabulous, interesting nose.
I want a cute little pert,
little petite, little button nose!
Give me the American beauty, Dave.
C.D., you know I can't.
Oh, yes, you can.
Get the knife. Cut me, Dave.
I can't. Allergies to anesthetics
are very, very dangerous.
You know that.
You've been in comas before.
We'll do it
the old-fashioned way.
Don't be stupid.
I wanna look like Diana Ross.
What you want is psychotherapy.
I can hear it now:
"Get used to it.
Eighty-five dollars, please."
Look, C.D.,
have you ever thought...
that you were born
with this nose for a reason?
Oh, yeah.
Like opening Coke bottles.
Oh, shit.
Hey, Dave, could I look at
those nose cards one more time?
Yeah, sure.
Thanks, Dave.
Where's that one?
Hello, darling.
Haven't seen you in a while.
She's so beautiful.
I saw her in that bar.
- She's so pretty I just...
- She's interesting too.
Interesting, yeah.
Did you see her legs?
She's got a sense of humor also.
She wants to meet me? You sure?
I can't believe this.
God, my third day here.
Heard she's kind of smart, too.
Astrology or somethin'.
- Astronomy.
- Yeah, right.
God, we're gonna meet.
Really?
God.
So what do I do?
What do I do?
So what do I do?
How do I meet her?
I don't know. How about if you walk up
to her on the street and say hello?
I'd have to talk to her then.
What are you talking about?
Look. Around you guys I can...
I don't know.
I can relax. I can be myself.
I'm funny. You know that.
But get around women I get...
God, I get a little...
It's not that
I don't like women, okay?
But I just get a little
nervous, that's all.
Okay, so get her
telephone number and call her.
Pass. I'd have to talk to her
then for sure.
I wanted to talk to her the
other night real bad, but I didn't...
'cause that's how
I would've talk to her: Bad.
I see. In other words,
every time you meet a woman...
with a little charm
and style and legs...
you're gonna turn around
and run the other direction.
That's a great idea.
In fact, that's brilliant.
- Tough game, ladies?
- We're just on our way there.
Chris, you know
what carpe diem is?
It's fish bait?
It's Latin.
It means "seize the day."
It means there may not be
a tomorrow, so do it now...
seek life while you're young,
while you've got the chance.
You're tellin' me
to go after Roxanne, huh?
No. I wouldn't.
I'd wait.
Mail her a letter.
Okay, light the thing.
See how you do.
Chief! C.D., come here!
I got it!
- You got it, all right.
- How to talk to Roxanne.
You were right.
I'm gonna take a chance.
Here's a girl who likes me,
so what am I afraid of her for?
She's no rocket scientist.
Actually, she is
a rocket scientist.
Yeah, well.
But out of all the guys
in this town, she likes me.
So who am I afraid of? Nothin'!
I'm gonna do what you said.
I'm gonna write her a letter.
I got a way with words.
Ask these guys.
I'm always crackin' 'em up.
You see, this way
I can plan out what to say.
I can craft it.
In a letter I can be...
I can be effer-goddamn-vescent.
- Chief.
- There you go.
We can't get it started.
I'II be out in a minute.
Andy, your coat's on fire.
So what do you think?
- He's on fire!
- Get his coat off!
- I got it!
- Not the gasoline!
- Hi, C.D.
- Hi, Cindy.
Can I help you?
I have a friend who was
looking for a cosmetic...
or wondering if one exists...
that's sort of a shading
type of an arrangement.
Do you have anything like that
that would be in a shading area?
Well, we have lots
of blushes and things.
What specifically is it for?
She has this feature
that she would like to...
you know, de-emphasize.
I see. She's got
this extra large feature...
and she wants something
to make it look a little