Oktoberfest promotion is over...
we'll see about getting
those funds back to you.
Ladies, drinks are on Chuck.
Like it?
Pure beaver.
I start to have a drink...
then I start to relax,
and then I start to have fun.
And it's not something I really
wanna start at this point in my life.
Heard you're tough.
I am.
But if you used a little tenderizer,
I might cook up pretty good.
Asshole.
Hey, where you goin',
big nose?
Pardon me?
You heard me, big nose!
- Is that it?
- Yeah.
Well, you really got me
on that one, didn't you?
Wait a second.
- What a waste of an opportunity.
- What?
Well, I mean, you've got someone
standing in front of you with this...
and all you can
think up is "big nose."
I suppose you could
think up somethin' better?
Yeah, I think I could think up
somethin' better. Come here.
Take this dart. Whatever number you hit,
that's how many I'II think up.
Twenty? Shit!
Two out of three.
Twenty.
Darts champion,
Denver, 1987.
Charlie, you can do it.
All right, 20 something betters.
Here goes.
Start with obvious:
"Excuse me. Is that your nose,
or did a bus park on your face?"
Meteorological:
"Everybody take cover!
She's going to blow!"
Fashionable:
"You could de-emphasize your nose
if you wore something larger...
like Wyoming."
Personal. "Well, here we are,
just the three of us."
Punctual:
"Delman, your nose was on time,
but you were 15 minutes late."
Envious:
"Oh, I wish I were you.
Gosh! To be able
to smell your own ear!"
Naughty: "Pardon me, sir,
some of the ladies have asked...
if you wouldn't mind
putting that thing away."
Philosophical:
"It's not the size of a nose
that's important.
It's what in it that matters."
Humorous: "Laugh,
and the world laughs with you.
Sneeze, and it's
good-bye Seattle."
Commercial:
"Hi. I'm Earl Scheib,
and I can paint that nose for $39.95."
Polite: "Would you mind
not bobbing your head?
The orchestra
keeps changing tempo."
Melodic. Everybody.
He's got the whole world
In his nose
Sympathetic:
"Oh, what happened?
Did your parents lose a bet with God?"
Complimentary:
"You must love the little birdies
to give them this to perch on."
Scientific:
"Say, does that thing there
influence the tides?"
Obscure:
"Whoa. I'd hate to see
the grindstone."
Think about it.
Inquiry: "When you stop
and smell the flowers...
are they afraid?"
French:
"Sir, the pigs have refused
to find any more truffles...
until you leave!"
Pornographic:
"Finally, a man who can satisfy
two women at once."
- How many is that?
- Fourteen, Chief!
Religious:
"The Lord giveth...
and He just kept on giving,
didn't He?"
Fifteen!
Disgusting:
"Say, who mows your nose hair?"
Sixteen!
Uh, paranoid:
"Keep that guy
away from my cocaine!"
Seventeen!
Aromatic:
"It must be wonderful
to wake up in the morning...
and smell the coffee
in Brazil."
Eighteen!
Appreciative:
"How original. Most people
just have their teeth capped."
Nineteen!
All right.
- One more!
- You can do it, C.D.
- Do it.
- Come on.
All right.
Dirty:
"Your name wouldn't be Dick,
would it?"
You smart ass
son of a bitch!
You flat-faced,
flat-nosed flat head.
Has he fallen yet?
How you doin'?
Did that copy of
"Being And Nothingness" by Jean...
Jean-Paul Sartre?
Yes, it did.
I got it right here.
It's all paid for.
Great.
Thanks a lot.
- All right.
- It ain't nothin', bro.
"Therefore my body is a conscious
structure of my consciousness."
Yeah. Thanks, Chris.
I was too embarrassed to go in there
and ask for it myself.
A little light reading,
huh, Andy?
I got 9,000
for my house this summer.
Which one of the five?
The one down on Rush Street.
That's the one Roxanne's in.
You're soaking her for $9,000.
I am not.
You like her, don't you?
What's not to like?
- Why don't you ask her out?
- No. Couldn't possibly fit her in.
I've got a 3:00,
I've got a 5:00...
and the women are just lined up,
mostly because of the old saying.
- What