say, genius?
No, no... but maybe it is. Maybe I am
in the presence of greatness...
- Have you met C.D. Yet?
- No, not yet.
- There is something you should know.
- He has a big nose, right?
- Whatever you do, do not stare.
- Come on, I will not stare.
None of us would, but you get there
and you feel yourself not staring.
Then it seems obvious
you are not staring, so you will look...
...and you will think,
"I am staring".
You think, "this is ridiculous",
so you take a good look, and you think:
"I am looking at a man who, when he
washes his face, loses the bar of soap".
- Thank you, guys.
- Do not say we did not warn you.
You think people go to Sun Valley
to see their fire department?
No, work with me.
You have to use promotion.
That way the town grows and
the fire department grows.
You cannot run a fire department
with the 7 banana brothers...
...you need professionals.
This town could be another Aspen.
They make tons of money.
As soon as this Oktoberfest is over,
you will get your funds back.
I have a drink, then I start to relax and
then I start to have fun.
It is not something I want to start
at this point in my life.
I heard you were tough.
I am...
But if you use a little tenderizer,
I might cook up pretty good.
Arsehole.
Where are you going, big nose?
Pardon me?
You heard me, big nose.
- Is that it?
- Yes.
You really got me on that one,
did you not?
Wait a second...
What a waste of an opportunity.
Someone is standing
in front of you with this...
...and all you can think up is
"big nose"?
Can you think up something better?
Yes, I think I can think up
something better. Come here.
With this dart... I will think up
whatever number you hit.
Twenty!
Two out of three.
- Twenty.
- Darts Champion, Denver, 1987.
Come on, Charlie, you can do it.
All right, twenty something betters.
I start with the obvious:
Excuse me, is that your nose
or did a bus park on your face?
Meteorological:
Everybody take cover, she will blow!
Fashionable: You could de-emphasise
your nose if you wore something larger...
...like Wyoming.
Personal: Well, here we are...
Just the three of us.
Punctual: Okay, your nose was on time,
but you were 15 minutes late.
Envious: Oh, I wish I were you...
...to be able to smell your own ear!
Naughty: Some of the ladies have asked
if you would put that thing away.
Philosophical: It is not the size
of a nose that is important...
...it is what is in it that matters.
Humorous:
Laugh and the world laughs with you...
...sneeze and it is goodbye,
Seattle.
Commercial: Hi, I am Earl Scheib
and I can paint that nose for $39.95!
Polite:
Would you mind not bobbing your head?
The orchestra keeps changing the tempo.
Melodic: Everybody.
He has got the whole world
in his nose.
Sympathetic: What happened?
Did your parents lose a bet with God?
Complimentary:
You must love the birdies...
...to give them this to perch on.
Scientific: Say, does that thing there
influence the tides?
Obscure: Whoa,
I would hate to see the grindstone.
Well, think about it.
Inquiry:
When you stop and smell the flowers...
...are they afraid?
French: The pigs have refused
to find any more truffles...
...until you leave.
Pornographic: Finally a man
who can satisfy two women at once.
- How many is that?
- Fourteen, Chief.
All right, religious:
The Lord giveth...
...and He just kept on giving,
did he not?
Fifteen.
Disgusting:
Say, who mows your nose hair?
Sixteen.
Paranoid:
Keep that guy away from my cocaine!
Seventeen.
Aromatic: It must be wonderful to wake
up in the morning and smell the coffee...
...in Brazil.
- Eighteen.
Appreciative: Oh, how original.
Most people just have their teeth capped.
Nineteen.
All right...
You can do it, C.D., one more.
Dirty:
Your name would not be Dick, would it?
You smartarse son of a bitch!
You flat-faced, flat-nosed flathead.
Has he fallen yet?
Did that copy of
"Being and