when did you find out about this?
July 1 4, 22:08:31...
Give or take ten days.
- That would really be something.
- Yes.
Do not look now,
but the Viking just came in.
Come in, shake hands with the mayor.
You will look important.
He should be bronzed.
I am told you are
fast, efficient and brilliant -
- with the ladies.
If anything happens to you,
C.D. will be all over my Kazistkey...
- Get a hold of yourself.
- It is now or never.
- Do it, Roxanne.
- There is only one way to tell.
Okay, when he comes out -
- I will invite him
to a Nelson tradition of hot-tubbing, -
- and I will set him up with some
mulled wine, and I will bathe him a lot.
- I am shocked.
- I am not shocked.
Confidence, confidence... A little
water and I am ready to talk to her.
Oh, no!
- Do you remember me?
- I am trying to put it behind me.
- Is this your shop?
- Yes, all mine.
- It is perfect.
- Thank you very much.
- It is really you.
- I appreciate that.
Come in and check out the freeze-dried
animals, they are incredibly lifelike.
Maybe next time.
C.D., it came to me
last night in a flash.
What is that?
The thing, the gimmick:
The Nelson promotional cow!
You give her a name:
Suzy, Bossy...
You put her picture in our posters,
teaching her to drink a beer.
- These things work.
- I think it is a fantastic idea.
- You like it?
- I love it, I think it is great!
I think it is brilliant, what an idea!
And I was there, I saw it happen:
He took the idea, ripe on the tree.
He plucked it and he put it in his pocket.
It is, dare I say, genius?
No, no... but maybe it is. Maybe I am
in the presence of greatness...
- Have you met C.D. yet?
- No, not yet.
- There is something you should know.
- He has a big nose, right?
- Whatever you do, do not stare.
- Come on, I will not stare.
None of us would, but you get there
and you feel yourself not staring.
Then it seems obvious
you are not staring, so you will look -
- and you will think, "I am staring."
You think, "this is ridiculous",
so you take a good look, and you think:
"I am looking at a man who, when he
washes his face, loses the bar of soap."
- Thank you, guys.
- Do not say we did not warn you.
You think people go to Sun Valley
to see their fire department?
No, work with me.
You have to use promotion.
That way the town grows and
the fire department grows.
You cannot run a fire department
with the 7 banana brothers -
- you need professionals.
This town could be another Aspen.
They make tons of money.
As soon as this Oktoberfest is over,
you will get your funds back.
I have a drink, then I start to relax and
then I start to have fun.
It is not something I want to start
at this point in my life.
I heard you were tough.
I am...
But if you use a little tenderizer,
I might cook up pretty good.
Arsehole.
Where are you going, big nose?
Pardon me?
You heard me, big nose.
- Is that it?
- Yes.
You really got me on that one,
did you not?
Wait a second...
What a waste of an opportunity.
Someone is standing
in front of you with this -
- and all you can think up is
"big nose"?
Can you think up something better?
Yes, I think I can think up
something better. Come here.
With this dart... I will think up
whatever number you hit.
Twenty!
Two out of three.
- Twenty.
- Darts Champion, Denver, 1 987.
Come on, Charlie, you can do it.
All right, twenty something betters.
I start with the obvious:
Excuse me, is that your nose
or did a bus park on your face?
Meterological:
Everybody take cover, she will blow!
Fashionable: You could de-emphasise
your nose if you wore something larger -
- like Wyoming.
Personal: Well, here we are...
Just the three of us.
Punctual: Okay, your nose was on time,
but you were 15 minutes late.
Envious: Oh, I wish I were you -
- to be able to smell your own ear!
Naughty: Some of the ladies have asked
if you would put that thing away.
Philosophical: It is not the size
of a nose