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work, does it?
I went inside and thought about
why I was attracted to Chris.
It was not the way he looked... Well, -
- at first it was the way he looked.
It was how he made me feel.
He made me feel romantic, -
- intelligent, feminine.
But it was not him who was
doing that to me. It was you.
All these other men have
flat, featureless faces.
No character...
No fire... No nose...
Charlie, you have a big nose.
You have a beautiful, great, big,
flesh and bone nose.
I love your nose.
I love your nose, Charlie.
I love you, Charlie.
- Well?
- Are you kidding?
Oh, it is locked. It is locked!
Thank God, I have a key.
- By the way, I named the comet.
- Oh yeah, good old Comet Kowalski.
- No, Comet Charlie.
- That is nice.
Yes, it is my dad's name.
He'll be so happy.I am walking, yes indeed,
and I am talking about you and me -
- and I am hoping you bop-be-da-deh.
I am forming words with my tongue
I am stumbling, but I am okay now.
Now, I am walking down the steps,
it is easier than walking up the steps.
Did not slide.
That is a tough break for me.
Now, I am having a small heart attack,
but I am recovering.
Now I am seeing
two coked-out hopheads coming at me -
- could be trouble.
- Get off the sidewalk!
- Other side of the street, scum.
It is a cop!
If he is a cop, where is his gun?
He is a fireman.
Cut a wide swath, pussy.
- All right.
- Thank you, arse-wipe.
Christ, that is the biggest nose...
Do not say it...
Quite a hood ornament you have there.
Here it comes...
Three-D coming at you!
- I really admire your shoes.
- What?
- I love your shoes.
- What?
I was just thinking -
- as much as I admire them and would
love to have a pair just like them -
- I would not want
to be in your shoes right now.
- I do not really know karate.
- I did not think so.
- Get pissed, Rich.
- I am pissed.
Fifteen - Love.
You want trouble? You will get it.
Oh, fault.
If that is how you want to play...
You broke my nose!
- Had enough yet?
- Thirty - Love.
Surprise! ...Forty - Love.
Are we having fun yet?
Let us play again sometime.
Where the hell is she?
Here is your racket.
Thank you.
What is this stuff on it?
Blood. Where is my tea?
- Will you tell me about it?
- You are too young.
Come here, Grover.
Damn it.
There had better be a window open,
I will have you neutered.
Do not go anywhere.
I will go to the front.
Oh, no!
I cannot believe it.
Goddamn it,
we are supposed to put them out!
- Guys, guys!
- What now?
I have a dream, just a little dream.
My dream,
I hope you do not find it crazy -
- is that I would like
the people here to feel -
- that if there were a fire, calling the
fire department would be a wise idea.
You cannot have people
with burning houses saying:
"Whatever you do,
do not call the fire department."
That would be bad.
Please, get it cleaned up.
Do not make me have to explain it.
I am locked out of my house.
I can get you in. I will get my tools.
I do not have any clothes on.
Do you want a coat or something?
No, I would like to stand naked
in this bush in the freezing cold.
- I will get the tools.
- Thank you.
- What is it?
- Somebody locked out of their house.
- Do you need any help?
- No, it looks boring. I will go.
- Nobody had a coat?
- You said you did not want one.
- Why would I not want a coat?
- You said so!
- I was being ironic.
- Oh, irony. We do not get that here.
People ski topless here while smoking
dope, so irony is not a high priority.
We have not had irony here since '83,
when I was the only practitioner of it, -
- and I stopped as
I was tired of being stared at.
You should turn off the lights
when you are locked out -
- you waste electricity.
You can hide your nakedness
in that bush.
I notice you do not have any tattoos.


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