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You cannot run a fire department
with the 7 banana brothers -
- you need professionals.
This town could be another Aspen.
They make tons of money.
As soon as this Oktoberfest is over,
you will get your funds back.
I have a drink, then I start to relax and
then I start to have fun.
It is not something I want to start
at this point in my life.
I heard you were tough.
I am...
But if you use a little tenderizer,
I might cook up pretty good.
Where are you going, big nose?
Pardon me?
You heard me, big nose.
- Is that it?
- Yes.
You really got me on that one,
did you not?
Wait a second...
What a waste of an opportunity.
Someone is standing
in front of you with this -
- and all you can think up is
"big nose"?
Can you think up something better?
Yes, I think I can think up
something better. Come here.
With this dart... I will think up
whatever number you hit.
Two out of three.
- Twenty.
- Darts Champion, Denver, 1987.
Come on, Charlie, you can do it.
All right, twenty something betters.
I start with the obvious:
Excuse me, is that your nose
or did a bus park on your face?
Everybody take cover, she will blow!
Fashionable: You could de-emphasise
your nose if you wore something larger -
- like Wyoming.
Personal: Well, here we are...
Just the three of us.
Punctual: Okay, your nose was on time,
but you were 15 minutes late.
Envious: Oh, I wish I were you -
- to be able to smell your own ear!
Naughty: Some of the ladies have asked
if you would put that thing away.
Philosophical: It is not the size
of a nose that is important -
- it is what is in it that matters.
Laugh and the world laughs with you -
- sneeze and it is goodbye, Seattle.
Commercial: Hi, I am Earl Scheib
and I can paint that nose for $39.95!
Would you mind not bobbing your head?
The orchestra keeps changing the tempo.
Melodic: Everybody.
He has got the whole world in his nose.
Sympathetic: What happened?
Did your parents lose a bet with God?
You must love the birdies -
- to give them this to perch on.
Scientific: Say, does that thing there
influence the tides?
Obscure: Whoa,
I would hate to see the grindstone.
Well, think about it.
When you stop and smell the flowers -
- are they afraid?
French: The pigs have refused
to find any more truffles -
- until you leave.
Pornographic: Finally a man
who can satisfy two women at once.
- How many is that?
- Fourteen, Chief.
All right, religious:
The Lord giveth -
- and He just kept on giving, did he not?
Say, who mows your nose hair?
Keep that guy away from my cocaine!
Aromatic: It must be wonderful to wake
up in the morning and smell the coffee -
- in Brazil.
- Eighteen.
Appreciative: Oh, how original.
Most people just have their teeth capped.
All right...
You can do it, C.D., one more.
Your name would not be Dick, would it?
You smartarse son of a bitch!
You flat-faced, flat-nosed flathead.
Has he fallen yet?
Did that copy of
"Being and Nothingness" by Jean Paul...
Jean Paul Sartre? Yes, it did.
I have it here, it is paid for.
- Great, thank you.
- De rien... Il n'y a pas de quoi.
- Okay.
- Do not mention it, bro.
"Therefore, my body is a conscious
structure of my consciousness."
Thank you, Chris. I was too embarrassed
to go and ask for it myself.
A little light reading, Andy?
I got $9,000 for the house this summer.
- Which one of the five?
- The one on Rush Street.
- You are soaking Roxanne for $9,000?
- I am not.
- You like her, do you not?
- What is there not to like?
- Why do you not ask her out?
- No, I cannot.
I have a 3 o'clock and a
5 o'clock, the women are lined up...
Mostly because of the old saying -
- about a man's nose relating to
the size of...
- The size of what?
- Come on, everybody knows this.
Hey, Sophie. Do you know the old saying

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