Dixie, it's me.
How are you?
I'm on my way.
I'll be there in about five minutes.
I'm bringing it.
I've only had it a year and a half.
I told you I'd return it.
Talk to you later.
All right. Bye.
I'm walkin'
Yes indeed
And I'm talkin'
'Bout you and me
Yeah, I'm hopin'
Now I'm forming
words with my tongue
Now I'm stumbling
But I'm okay now
Now I'm walkin'
down the steps
'Cause it's easier
than walkin' up the steps
Didn't slide
Oh, that's a tough break for me
Now I'm having
a small heart attack
But I'm recovering
Now I'm seeing
Two coked-up hopheads comin' at me
Could be trouble
- Off the sidewalk!
- Other side of the street, scum!
Now!
It's a cop.
Wait a minute.
If he's a cop, where's his gun?
He's a fireman!
Cut a wide swath, pussy.
All right.
- Thank you, ass-wipe.
- Christ! That's the biggest no...
Don't say it.
Quite a hood ornament
you got there, pal.
Here it comes!
3-D, comin' at ya!
I really admire your shoes.
What?
- I love your shoes.
- What do you mean?
I was just thinking that...
as much as I really
admire your shoes...
and as much as I'd love
to have a pair just like them...
I really wouldn't want
to be in your shoes...
at this particular
time and place.
- I don't really know karate.
- I didn't think so.
Get up!
Son of a...
- Get pissed, Rich!
- I am pissed!
Fifteen, love.
- My nose!
- Okay, come on!
- That was close.
- You want trouble?
You're gonna get trouble.
Blood!
Fault!
Et la.
Okay, that's the way
you wanna play?
You broke my nose!
Olй.
Had enough yet?
Thirty, love.
Surprise.
Forty, love.
Are we having fun yet?
Service!
Game.
Let's play again sometime.
Grover?
Where the hell is she?
Oh, hi.
- Here's your racket.
- Thanks.
- What's this stuff on it? Vitalis?
- No, it's blood.
Where's my tea?
Bernie.
- You wanna tell me about it?
- You're too young.
Come here, Grover.
Come here.
Shit!
Damn it!
There better be
a window open, Grover.
I'm going to have you neutered!
Oh, God.
Don't go anywhere.
I'm going to the front of the house.
Oh, brother.
I can't believe it.
More, more!
Thank you, thank you.
Goddamn it!
We're supposed to put them out!
- Guys! Guys!
- What now?
I have a dream. It's not a big dream,
it's just a little dream.
My dream... and I hope
you don't find this too crazy...
is that I would like
the people of this community...
to feel that if,
God forbid, there were a fire...
calling the fire department
would actually be a wise thing to do!
You can't have people,
as their houses are burning down...
say, "Whatever you do,
don't call the fire department"!
That would be bad.
Please, get it cleaned up.
Don't make me have to explain it.
No problem, Chief.
We'II do it.
Hello?
I'm locked out of my house.
I can get you back in.
Come on inside. I'll get some tools.
I don't have any clothes on.
You want a coat?
No. I really like to stand naked
in this bush in the freezing cold.
I'll get the tools.
Hi, Chief.
What is it?
- Somebody locked out of their house.
- Need any help, Chief?
It looks pretty boring.
I'll take care of it.
We're in trouble.
- Nobody had a coat?
- You said you didn't want a coat.
- Why would I not want a coat?
- You said you didn't want a coat.
- I was being ironic.
- Oh! Irony!
No, we don't get that here.
See, people ski topless here
while smoking dope...
so irony's not really
a high priority.
We haven't had any irony here
since about '83...
when I was the only practitioner of it,
and I stopped because I was stared at.
Oh, brother.
You shouldn't leave your lights on
when you're locked out.
You waste a lot of electricity.
You can hide in that bush over there,
and I won't see your nakedness.
I noticed you don't
have any tattoos.
I think that's a wise choice.
I don't think Jackie Onassis
would have gone as far...
if she'd had
an anchor on her arm.
Well, every job
has a perfect tool.
Let's see.
This lock doesn't accept